Trying to be perfect is futile
Some people strive for perfection. Some people believe they are perfect. I think both are crazy. As a Pharmacist of many many years I've trained a lot of student interns. Every one of them is terrified of making mistakes. I certainly don't blame them as mistakes can be bad news in a Pharmacy. The wrong medication can seriously harm or even kill someone. I have to let every student know that they will make a mistake at some point... it will happen to any Pharmacist at some point in their career.
I even remember my first two mistakes as a new graduate and new pharmacist. The first was giving Acebutolol instead of Atenolol. Similar names, similar in how they work, but absolutely not the same thing. The second was a mix up between Quinine and Quinidine. Again similar in their origin but used for different problems. In each case neither was likely to be life threatening but both were errors.
Then the question comes:
What do you do when a mistake happens?
That's the real issue.
Not me!
Ask any toddler and even if the evidence is clear, the go to is denial. It wasn't me, I didn't do it. It was the cat (or dog)
It's not my fault
"My brother made me do it". "I was sleepy". "The floor was slippery". "I didn't aim at it". Trying to find someone or something to take the blame so it wasn't my fault also pretty common.
Hide the mistake
Or maybe just get rid of the evidence. Hope no-one will notice. Hope that it just "goes away".
.... And I am sure there are other ways to deflect, deny or avoid the consequences of the error / mistake.
Or take responsibility
If you ask me there is only one correct path to a mistake:
Take responsibility
When I make a mistake at work the first thing to do is take responsibility. The next step is work to solve or rectify the issue. Then learn so that it doesn't happen again.
YES it absolutely sucks to do the responsible thing. YES I get yelled at. YES I could get in trouble. YES I could hide the problem many times and no-one would know. In my eyes though, integrity matters. By admitting the problem and trying to solve it I never have to worry about someone "Finding Out". I never have to cover my actions with a lie that might get found out. I never have things compound for later. Typically I find that by admitting the issue and working through it I can just move on.
And learn not to do the same thing again
By spending time seeing what happened, correcting what happened, and reflecting to make sure it doesn't happen again I personally think it helps me grow.
Looking back at those first two errors I made in the Pharmacy I learned very quickly to check for look alike / sound alike medications and I'm happy to say that I very rarely make that mistake again. I find all new ways to screw up... but every error and every mistake is another opportunity to hone my practice to make me better in the future.
Something to teach my children
That is also something I've tried to instill into my children.
Children make mistakes
... lots of them.
It comes with growing up and learning.
As a father I tried very hard never to punish a mistake. Yes that means I have a broken mirror in my downstairs entry hallway. It means there have been messes to clean up. A big patch of destroyed pavement in my front driveway and expensive bills for things I would rather not have spent.
However, I think my children learned far more from me being there and not judging from their errors but rather helping them clean them up and showing them that mistakes aren't fatal and when the time is taken to rectify them ... usually there is less energy involved in cleaning up than denial or hiding.
Don't get me wrong...
.... some mistakes have lasting consequences.
.... some mistakes result in broken relationships
.... some mistakes are expensive
But I'm glad to know I've raised children who are grown up enough and responsible enough to own and learn from their mistakes. That makes me proud.
A Dad quote
I had to smile when I heard a quote from an older father. His words to his kids? "Don't get in trouble so deep you can't dig yourself out".
I smiled because he didn't tell his kids not to get in trouble. Only a foolish father believes his children do no wrong. But letting them know that they have to dig themselves out if they get into trouble is a subtle way of telling them.... Do what you are going to do, but remember there are consequences. Think of those consequences.
Today's Hive Learners prompt
Now this week in the Hive Learners they asked "Who takes the blame". My answer is "The person who made the mistake" or the boss of the person who made the mistake.
One of my pet peeves is taking the blame for something over which I have no fault.
- If I make an error I happily admit it
- If someone I was supervising made an error and I should have caught them again I'll take the blame.
- Getting blamed for something out of my control? I really hate when that happens.
And yes, it happens.
A person calls in a refill of medication and I fill it as requested. Their spouse picks it up and then I get a phone call "You filled what I asked for but not what I wanted". Seriously? How is that my fault?
Or a doctor writes "Medication must last 30 days" and the person runs out in 20.... Then gets mad at me because I won't give it out early. Again, how is this my fault?
But sometimes things have more serious consequences. I give a person a narcotic prescription and tell them it should be stored safely and put it in a child resistant container. Then the patient leaves the cap off and a child takes some and gets very sick / hospitalized. Should I get blamed for that?
Well.....
..... If I didn't inform the parent of how dangerous the medication is? Sure
..... If I didn't put it in a child resistant bottle? Sure
Because I should always be looking one step forward as to the potential harm that can come from my actions...even unintentional. That goes for people who make guns, weapons, drugs, etc. Actions have consequences and a responsible person should look reasonably into potential outcomes and try to mitigate future problems.
However, when someone looks and takes reasonable steps to prevent issues? Then its on the person who gets into trouble. As an example: I have a rifle. I keep it locked up in a safe. I keep the ammunition in a different part of the house. I have a trigger lock on the trigger. If someone steals my gun, disables the locks, and finds ammunition? I've taken all reasonable precautions to make sure it is not my fault.
So, if someone makes a useful tool.... and someone misuses the tool? Shame on the person who misused it.
I don't hold the person who created the computer responsible for the actions of a hacker (or for Only Fans for that matter).
I don't hold automobile manufacturers responsible for those who drink and drive.
I absolutely believe in personal responsibility but that responsibility only goes so far...before it becomes someone else dodging their own responsibility.
Of course that's just my take on things. Feel free to disagree (or agree) in the comments. I also enjoy feedback :) Thanks for reading.