Snitches get Stitches
I remember a year or two ago talking to my son. He was asking if he did something illegal would I tell the police. I honestly replied, Yes.
He was horrified! You would snitch on your own son? What a horrible Dad! What about the bro code? What about snitches get stitches he said. What about protecting your family?
I calmly told him that I loved him, would protect him from the world as best I could, but laws are there for a reason. Breaking laws ruins your personal integrity and weakens the society you live in. He wasn't convinced and then went in a little tirade about ... but what if I did this and what if I did that.
In the end I conceded that I wouldn't tell on him for minor infractions, stupid rules, or matters of conscience. I would also likely try to deal with the infraction "in house" before escalating to authorities.
If it is something minor like speeding, no, I'm not going to report him. However, if I catch him driving drunk? First time I talk to him sternly. Second time I would absolutely report him.
Why? I would much rather my son lose his license and have him hate me..
... than have him kill himself or someone else by driving while intoxicated.
And that happens in real life also
Indeed I based that on a real life example.
One day I was working in the Pharmacy and I had a gentleman come in who was very clearly intoxicated. He could barely stand let alone walk in a straight line. I strongly suggested he call a cab, or sit on the bench outside until he was sober, but not drive home. Of course he did not listen so I informed him exactly what I would do... I would follow him to his car, take his license and plate number and call the police. When he got in the car I did exactly what I said I would do.
Now you may say "but its none of my business". You may be right.
However, how do you think I would feel if I read a news article about a man dying in a car accident and find out it was the man I just let drive off? How do you think I would feel if I heard that the man ran over a child in a school zone from drunk driving?
In my opinion a community is only as strong as the amount of care its citizens put into it. I suppose and the reliability of the police and other agencies who enforce the peace in the community as well.
Luckily where I live in Canada I can trust the police to do their best to keep the peace and keep things orderly.
If I saw a theft happening? Report
... see an assault? Report
... see a drunk driver? Report
But what if its closer to home, like a coworker?
But what if it was theft at work. What if it was small?
Then the question comes where does my duty lie? To my coworker or to my boss?
Well, again, I work in a Pharmacy. If someone steals small and doesn't get caught what happens? I'd like to think it is just a one off and that's the end of it. However, I think if someone gets away with it and knows I'll cover for them? That makes me complicit and more likely than not things will escalate.
Plus things eventually come to light.
I ask you. Which is worse. Getting caught when its something small, able to be discussed with the manager, and then forgiven and moving on.
OR
When it becomes big. Getting fired is the only option. ... and I get found out for being quiet and covering so I am complicit and get in just as much trouble as the person who did the crime.
and from personal experience I'm going to say get caught early, learn the lesson, and move on.
I'm no saint
When I say that I've learned from experience, I mean it.
When I was young (probably 5 or 6) I stole money from the cash register from my parents store. Guess what... I was caught. Guess what... I got punished. Guess what... I learned my lesson and moved on.
Another time I was stupid and some friends and I were trying to make a campfire in a park. Seemed like fun...but again...we got caught by a passerby and yes we were taken to the park manager. That was very very scary (again I was young) and again, I learned a very valuable lesson and never did it again.
But there is one other side of the coin.
How about the times I haven't been caught? The times I "got away with it"?
For those people without a conscience perhaps they are pleased and emboldened. However, I do have a conscience and for those things I didn't get caught for... they make me sad because they are a wrong that is still on the balance sheet.
The one that comes up most vividly was a tiny, but very pretty, communion cup that I took from church when I was 9. It was pretty and no one was looking so I took it home with me. Then I moved to a new town and it came with me. Every time I looked at it I was reminded I was a thief. Of course I couldn't go back to the church and give it back. I couldn't tell my mom I was a thief. So I did what most people do. I hid it.
... but I always knew.
... and that wasn't a great feeling.
When wrongdoings come to light, forgiveness and reparations can happen. From there people can move on.
So for me?
I look at every scenario on its own merits but in general? I want wrongdoings to be brought to light so people can learn, people can forgive, and people can move on. If it happens to protect the community or the person in the long run...even better.
What would make it even better? If everyone did it. If everyone took honesty, integrity, and community and worked towards making everyone accountable for their actions while also doing it with gentleness and discretion. I think that would make much nicer communities. However, doing what is right often comes with an unavoidable cost. If I snitch on a popular person at work and they get fired? I lose a good co-worker but I may also be a pariah at work making life miserable. I wish there was a consequence free way to do what's right but that often isn't the case. Of course if the community becomes "snitch on everyone for everything" that would be no fun either. I would never, ever, snitch on someone without actual verifiable proof....period. In that way if I'm ever held to account I wasn't telling on a hunch, rumor or speculation only something I'm absolutely certain of. I would expect others to do the same.
Of course I realize that in prison I'd probably be badly beat up for that philosophy so... If I ever go to prison I may write a very different article. It would also be very different if I was living in the Philippines. In Canada I have considerable trust in the police, in the Philippines? Their overall reach and trustworthiness are somewhat lesser. As an outsider there I would think very very hard before I raised my voice. Of course I'd love to get other people's idea so if you care to leave a comment? That would be awesome. If not? Well, thank you for reading this far. Appreciate it.