I believe that both play an important role. A child’s behavior can be shaped by what they see, hear, and experience in their environment, but it can also be influenced by traits passed down through their parents’ genes. Parents, schools, religious centers, and the community all have powerful effects on how a child grows and the kind of adult they eventually become.
I remember when I was much younger, there were some kids in our compound whose older brother was a stammerer. Interestingly, the younger ones didn’t stammer at first, but they liked imitating their brother whenever he spoke. They found it funny and would copy him all the time. Over time, it became part of them, they started stammering too, even though they were not born that way. Their parents and even my younger sister tried correcting them, but they didn’t stop. That was when I realized that behaviors can indeed be learned just by watching others. Children are like sponges, they absorb everything around them, whether good or bad.
It’s not just about speech or habits. Children learn the way adults react, talk, and handle situations. For example, if a child constantly sees their parents shouting or arguing, they might grow up thinking that is the normal way to communicate. If they see love, patience, and kindness, they often reflect those same qualities. What parents do speaks louder than what they say, because kids watch more than they listen.
At the same time, I also believe behavior can be inherited. There are certain traits or attitudes that seem to run in families. For instance, I always say I don’t want to be like my mum in some ways. She is a very lovely woman, honest and outspoken, but she gets angry easily and can’t keep quiet when something is wrong. She must always say her mind instantly, sometimes harshly, but after saying it, she feels fine. Growing up, I used to tell myself I would never be like that. I wanted to be calm and patient. Yet, I’ve noticed that whenever I get upset, I sometimes react the same way. I might talk too fast or say things I don’t mean. Later, when I calm down, I realize I’ve done exactly what I said I wouldn’t do. Sometimes I apologize immediately, other times I just let it go. That made me understand that some behaviors can come naturally, they are part of who we are, inherited from our parents’ traits.
However, inheritance is not destiny. A child can grow up seeing bad behaviors and decide to change. Many people have had difficult childhoods, but they chose to become better adults. Some grew up with abusive or negligent parents, yet they decided to be loving and responsible. Others had caring and disciplined parents but still turned out badly because of the friends they kept or the influences around them. This shows that while family plays a big role, the environment and personal choices matter too.
Many times, the behavior children show at school reflects what they experience at home. For example, a large percentage of kids who turn out to be bullies in school often come from homes where there is domestic violence or constant shouting. Some of them have parents who beat or insult them over every little mistake, so they begin to believe that the only way to deal with others is through aggression. They take that pain and anger to school and pour it on other children. It’s not always because they are bad; it’s because that is what they’ve learned. That’s why it’s important for parents to understand that their actions can shape a child’s heart more than their words ever could.
A child’s environment, the school they attend, the shows they watch, the friends they move with, can shape their behavior more than we think. If a child grows up in a toxic or violent place, they may learn aggression as a form of defense. But if they later move to a positive and peaceful environment, they can unlearn those habits and become better.
I believe behaviors are both learned and inherited. Some traits flow through bloodlines, while others are shaped by what we see and experience daily. The kind of adults children become depends on a mixture of family influence, environment, and personal decisions. It’s up to each person to identify the good and the bad in what they’ve inherited or learned and choose the kind of person they want to become.