When I look back at my life fifteen to twenty years ago, I can clearly say I am not the same person I used to be. Life has a way of changing us, and experiences shape us into who we are today. If my younger self from secondary school saw me now, she would be surprised at how much I have changed.
Back then, I was someone who always wanted people’s approval. I could not make decisions on my own without thinking of what others would say or how they would feel. I remember when I was still in secondary school, there was this girl I was very close to. Anytime we quarreled or argued, I would become moody and unhappy for the rest of the day. If she refused to talk to me, I would feel lonely and restless. School would even feel boring to me just because of her silence. I depended so much on her attention and her approval that I could not even enjoy myself or make choices without first thinking about her. Looking back now, I can say I was living through her and not through myself.
But today, things are different. I no longer live to please people, and I don’t go around seeking approval before I do anything. I have realized that life is not about making everyone happy. Now, I do things that please God and that bring peace to me. I live my life with a sense of purpose, not just trying to make people accept me. That change didn’t happen overnight, but it came gradually as I started to grow and face real challenges.
One of the biggest turning points in my life happened after secondary school. At that time, I sustained a serious wound on my leg that took years to heal. It was one of the hardest seasons of my life. I had already finished secondary school and I was receiving admission offers from different schools, but because of the wound, I could not go. It felt like my dreams were being delayed, and I started to wonder if I would ever move forward. The wound was painful physically, but it was also painful emotionally because it was holding me back.
One year, I finally made a bold decision. I told myself that I would not let the wound stop me from going to school. Even though I was still in pain, I decided to take that step forward. I pushed myself to start school with the wound, and it was not easy at all. But today, when I look back, I am so grateful that I made that choice. Because of that decision, I was able to go through school, and two years ago I graduated. That moment taught me an important lesson that sometimes life will never give you the perfect conditions, and you just have to move forward with faith and courage.
Now when I think of who I am today, I see a more responsible person. I can make good decisions for myself without struggling to get someone else’s approval. I don’t live in fear of rejection like I used to. Instead, I live with confidence in myself and in God. I also discovered something I never knew before purpose and vision. Back then, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as having a purpose in life. I was just living from day to day without direction. But now, I can define my purpose, I know my vision, and I am working towards it step by step.
So who am I today? I am someone who has grown through pain and experiences. I am someone who has learned not to depend on people for happiness but to depend on God and to trust myself. I am someone who faced discouragement but chose not to give up. I am someone who now values purpose more than approval.
If my past self were to meet me today, she might not recognize me immediately. She would probably wonder how I became so different from the girl who used to cry for people’s attention. But with time, she would be proud. She would see that I have grown, I have changed, and I have become stronger. That, to me, is the beauty of life it doesn’t leave us the same.