Okay so, there is this kind of popular saying that I heard somewhere, that says people hurt people hurt people, sha it somehow goes in that line, and see to be honest, I think that, there is somehow a lot of truth in it, so you know when someone goes through pain, especially the type of one that leaves big scars on the inside, it is not so unusual for them to carry that weight into how they treat other people, sometimes it is intentional, and other times it is not, but the ripple effect is just somehow there, now the real question is that, should they be held accountable for it? My answer is yes, why not?
Okay , see I understand that trauma can explain why someone people behave in a certain ways, but see, it should never be used as an excuse to keep spreading pains to other people like why?, If you got hurt and now later turned around to hurt someone else because of that experience, see it might make sense why you acted that way, but it does not make it right in any way at all, everyone still has a choice, no matter how heavy their past is, life is tough, no doubt, but at the end of the day, our actions are still our responsibility.
So with that being said, I also think that it is important to acknowledge that not everybody has the tools or support to deal with their trauma, so now Imagine someone who grew up in a toxic environment where love was scarce and harsh words were like normal , they may carry that into their own relationships in future and without even realizing that they are doing it, see it does not mean they are evil, it just means they never learned better in any way, The problem comes when they don’t recognize it and keep passing that cycle along like some inherited family possessions, and that is how generational trauma survives , one person bleeds on another, who then bleeds on the next one , kinda bad if you ask me.
Now, on forgiveness, this part is somehow tricky because forgiveness means different things to different kind of people, For me, I think forgiveness does not always mean you let the person back into your life or pretend nothing happened, Sometimes it is more about freeing yourself than excusing the other person, carrying bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer, no no, that's not okay, So yes, forgiveness is possible, but it usually depends on whether the person who caused the harm is willing to own up and take steps to change.
You know there are situations where someone genuinely realizes their wrong doings and apologizes, and tries to work on themselves, in cases like that, forgiveness feels easier because you can see they are not justifying their actions with the, I went through a lot card or something , and on the flip side, if the person keeps using their trauma as a shield to justify bad behavior, then it becomes harder to forgive because it feels like they are not even trying to break the cycle.
So I think that the healthiest way forward is this, so while we can have compassion for people who are struggling with their pains from the past, yeah.... we also need to hold them accountable when they do hurt others, and that is just simple, know this, compassion and accountability can always exist together, you can understand why someone did something and still say, Ahn Ahn this is not okay, and that balance is what actually helps these people break free from the endless loop of trauma.
So in summary, yes, people who hurt others as a result of their own hurt should be held responsible, yes trauma is real, but responsibility is also real too, passing pain along might explain the story, but it can not be the excuse, As for forgiveness, I believe it can happen, but it is a process that depends on both the one who was hurt and the one who caused the hurt, and at the end of the day, the cycle only breaks when someone decides enough is enough and chooses healing over repeating.
This is my response to Hive Learners Prompt Week 185, Edition 1
Image is Generated With Meta AI
