Lately, one thing that I have been learning and also unlearning at the same time Is the habit of trying to please everyone around me, so for a very long time, I did not even realize how much I was even doing it, i always wanted people to feel comfortable, happy, and satisfied with me, even if it meant that I was ignoring what I actually wanted or how I truly felt.
So i used to think that making everyone happy at my own expense was the right thing to do, if someone came and asked for help, I would immediately say yes without thinking twice, If someone expected something from me, I would try my best to meet that expectation, even when it would be very inconvenient for me, so in my mind then I felt that if I disappointed people, they might think that I am a bad person.
But over time I started noticing that constantly trying to please everyone was actually very exhausting, I
See sometimes I would agree to things that I really did not want to do, and other times I would now decide to stay quiet about my own opinions just so there would not be any conflict, on the outside everything looked fine, but inside I sometimes felt drained.
The truth is that it is almost impossible to make everyone to be happy all the time, see eh .. no matter how hard you try, someone somewhere will just still have a different opinion or expectation, It took me a while to really understand that.
So now I am slowly learning to change that mindset, I am learning that it is okay to say no sometimes, seriously it is okay to choose what works best for me without feeling guilty about it, at first it felt a little uncomfortable because I was not used to it, when you spend a long time putting other people first, it almost feels strange when you start thinking about yourself too.
But then the more I think about it, the more I realize that setting boundaries is actually very important, it does not mean I do not care about people, it just means I also care about my own time, energy, and well being.
I am also learning that the people who truly respect and value you will understand when you set limits,Real relationships should not depend on you constantly sacrificing yourself just to keep everyone satisfied.
Of course, this is still something I’m working on, sometimes my old habit still shows up and I catch myself wanting to automatically agree to things, but now I pause and ask myself a simple question, Is this something I really want to do, or am I just trying to please someone? that small moment of reflection helps me make better decisions.
What I believe learning this will accomplish for me is a healthier and more balanced life and when you stop trying to please everyone, you free up a lot of mental space you just stop worrying so much about what people might think and start focusing more on what actually matters to you.
I also think it will help me become more confident in my own choices, Instead of constantly seeking approval from others, I can learn to trust myself more.
At the end of the day, I am realizing that it iis okay if everyone doesn’t always agree with me or like every decision I make that is just a normal part of life, what matters more is being honest with myself and living in a way that feels true to who I am.
So right now, this is what I am earning, to care about people, but not lose myself in the process of trying to please everyone and honestly, that feels like a very important lesson for me.
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