Listening is one of those things we all think we know how to do, until life comes and teaches us otherwise, For the longest time,for one, I always thought listening simply meant hearing someone talk and nodding my head while they spoke, as long as I wasn’t interrupting them, I felt I was doing a good job.
But then over time, I have realized that listening is way deeper than that, It is not just about hearing words, it is about understanding , remembering, and actually caring about what is being said.
See I won’t even lie, I wasn’t always a good listener, there were times I was already forming my response while someone was still talking, sometimes, I was just waiting for my turn to speak, and other times, I heard people but didn’t truly absorb what they were saying, Life, stress, responsibilities, and even exhaustion can make you like that. But as I’ve grown older, I have started to see how important real listening is, especially in relationships, friendships, and even everyday conversations.
One thing I have noticed is that listening changes when life humbles you, when you have been through things, when you have had moments where you just wanted someone to understand you without judging or rushing you, you begin to appreciate what it means to truly listen, these days, I try to be more intentional, I might not always get it right, but I try, I listen not just to reply, but to understand. And honestly, it has made a difference in how I connect with people.
Okay now let’s talk about the other side of it. Being listened to, because that one is a whole different story, not everyone around you actually listens, some people hear you talk, respond with hmm or oh okay, and five minutes later, they have forgotten everything you said, you could pour out your heart, share something deep or even something random, and it just floats past them like background noise, that thing can be very draining and annoying.
But then, there are those few people, maybe one or two, who actually listen, the kind that remembers what you said weeks ago, the kind that doesn’t make you feel stupid for expressing your thoughts, even when they sound messy or emotional, the kind that lets you talk without cutting you off or turning the conversation back to themselves, those people are rare, and when you find them, you hold them close.
I have also learned that not everyone deserves access to your thoughts, Just because someone is around you doesn’t mean they are capable of listening to you, and that is okay, sometimes, it is not about them being bad people, they just don’t have the capacity, knowing who to talk to and who not to talk to is a form of wisdom I’m still learning.
Listening has taught me patience, you see it has taught me empathy, It has also in a way, taught me silence, sometimes, people don’t need advice or solutions, they just need someone to sit with them in their thoughts, and sometimes, listening is the loudest way to say I care.
At this point in my life, I value listeners more than talkers, because talking is more easy, now listening takes effort, and in a world where everyone wants to be heard, the ones who know how to listen are truly special indeed.
Image is Mine
