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I have often heard narrations of break-ups and one sided efforts in relationships. People cry talking about apathy and cold behaviour of their partner. Things start worsening when efforts become one sided . Compassion and sincerity are the pillars of every bond and if the compassion, sincerity and dedication gets out, what left is emotional destruction. But still some try keep on investing energies and efforts in dead relationship thinking it will revive again .
The case is not only about love relationships but in relative and kins a well people keep on shouldering the burden of bonds which bring no positivity in their life. Sometimes ti keep uo social structure,sometimes to act responsible and dedicated snd sometimes for hidden benefits, people tolerate the toxic behaviour of their relatives.
Sometimes people gets emotionally destructed by the rude behaviour of other people but still they chose to stay in toxic bond rather than getting rid of that and personally I am unable to understand their psychy. Weeping and crying and getting hurt becomes avocation for them and they don’t dare to a hard but effective step.
For me every bond is like a deal in which we must stay untill we are in profit. Being in profit does not mean to employ measure to obtain one-sided benefits only. Nota t all. Being in profit means ,the bond must give you mental satisfaction,compassion,sincerity and support in hard times. The investment which you make of your energies and tine must not go in vain. Rather they must be respected by core of hearts.
In a country like Pakistan, domestic violence is not even considered a guilt. Hurting emotions and inserting negativities in life of others is normal for people. Instead of acclaiming someones achievements, trying to derogate him is common. Destructing someone’s psychologic health and emotional status is not considered as sin. People have fallen a prey to toxic narcissim and it has become inevitable to keep assessing the status of relationship to save ourself from serious setback and emotional breakdown.
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I am kind of person who hesitate to take first step towards anyone,but i have a simple rule in my life that I take two steps towards one who takes one step towards me and I take four steps backwards if other backs one step from me. I increase the worth of any bond by active participation and involvement of me but I don’t stay even for a second where I feel my presence not being valued as it should be. I simply back off.
Strategies to sound-relations:
Worth yourself: Narcissim is a bad property while self care and self-vaulation are essential for the integrity of personality. If we want others to worth our presence, we must worth ourselves as well. We must not always be easily accessible rather there should be a hard way to reach you.
Evaluate the bond occasionally: Occasinally evaluating the nature of bond is very mandatory. No matter what sort of bind it is, we must keep on checking whether it is impacting positively in our life or it has snatched serene from us . Evaluation helps us understand who is sincere to us. We must not keep blind eyes everytime.
Do not over invest: There is no harm in puting efforts in weakened bond. Efforts may revive the adour of bond. Taking first step towards mending affairs is not bad at all but we must check how much your efforts are working and how much they are being apprecites. The zeal of healthy relationship lies in reciprocation of love and efforts and if the efforts from other sides doesn’seem to exist then there os no mean of over investing yourself.
Be ready to call off: This might be a hard call but sometimes it becomes inevitable. We must always some limits and boundaries. If things get worse and cross those boundaries, we must keep courage to call off the burden of that bond. Holding that rope tightly that is hurting your hand will not surely yield any benefits. Dragging the burden of toxic relationships will diminish your own personality.
Priortise mental soundness over emotional attachment:
Post detachment season is not easy to withstand. Some stay in toxic relationship because of social stigma , fear of being alone and to stay in a delusional flex of having bonds. This mentality never lets them get rid of toxic people. And even if show strength to back off from such relationships, they are surrounded oby myrid of useless thoughts and paroxysm of overthinking. We must be shrewd enough to prioritise our mental health at every moment of life. Compromising on mental health can be very dangerous.
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