People's opinions mostly come from a place of bias
towards me. Most of them don't even have a better understanding or knowledge of who I am. They are strangers who think they know me better. They just come up with an opinion that doesn't define or reflect me. Their opinions aren't real to me, that's why I don't care most times, but I also make amendments when necessary, especially when the opinion is coming from a close friend and family.
It could be just an unrealistic thought about me, although listening has helped me in the past. Funny how we give people the chance to have certain opinions about us. Most times, opinions can be misleading. Before building an opinion, we should get to know a person better.
Certain opinions people have about others come from what they see, a persistent habit and constant behavior they have observed. I also have my opinion about other people, but that doesn't mean I know them. We should get closer before building strong opinions about people we don't know or can't relate to their struggles.
Each time I hear the opinions outsiders have about me, I'm usually not surprised, because that's the impression I gave though.
People have always said I'm unfriendly, I don't smile, I'm always on my own and some say I'm a snub, but to me, I'm not the kind of person that wants to be friends with everyone. I hate being crowded, love my space, and I am only comfortable with close friends and family.
For example, in my early days at the university, I found it difficult to smile and communicate not because I was rude, but because I was shy and preferred staying on my own, until I got comfortable around a person. I was always fond of keeping a straight face, I could laugh with a close friend or roommate, but the moment I found myself alone and walking, I didn't smile, I was still a good person, but I just had to be comfortable with people before I started laughing, visiting, moving and communicating with them.
Until one day, network was so frustrating, none of my friends were close, and I knew I needed help, and it was urgent.
I quietly walked up to a familiar face, a guy I usually see around my departmental block to ask for help, and he was surprised. I approached him. We began a conversation and I began to communicate well with him and at the end of the day he told me, each time I wanted to talk to you, I gett scared. I was shocked at first. He is three times my height and shouldn't be scared. He said," You are always on your own, not smiling, not greeting or communicating, and I assumed you were an arrogant person and I wouldn't want a little girl insulting me. It was at that point I realized it was my attitude that made him scared. He got to know me better, and I went back to the hostel to ask my roommates. They also said they had the same impression about me when I first came to the hostel, and that's because of how I stayed on my own for weeks without talking to them in the room until I became comfortable around them.
After explaining to them that it was because I'm usually shy and communicate better when I'm comfortable, their opinion of me changed, and I became a better person, learned to keep a bright face, be more jovial. Their opinions really helped me improve and made me a better person.
Till date, people still have a similar opinion about me though , I can't please everyone, most of them think I'm unfriendly and proud, because I don't make friends so fast. My younger sister has the same opinion about me, because of the few friends I keep, we are clearly opposites humans. I have no friends in my current environment, and I'm absolutely fine with their opinions.
I don't feel like correcting their opinions, because it doesn't reflect or define me.
Most people still like how quiet and unfriendly I'm in my neighborhood, mostly elderly folks, but for most of my age grade I'm that girl that doesn't want to associate with them , who's boring and I don't feel bad about it.
I communicate better when I'm comfortable with people, trust their company and feel safe around them. I love the unfriendly me, I can't go around gathering friends like sand, I love my quiet life.
I only listen to valid opinions. Some opinions don't matter to me. People will always have their own different opinions, but like I will always say, their opinions don't define or reflect me. Anyone who's interested in knowing me should come closer to me. I'm an introvert and I just like a few people around me.
It's impossible to control everyone's opinion, and since I can't control their opinions about me, controlling their opinions will make me a people pleaser and that can never be me.