Pain is really real, and the trauma it leaves behind affects us very much as well. Going through such can be so devastating, and without the right kind of people around us, one can spend years still basking in the trauma without healing, and that's why it's always essential to seek help so you can not only heal from traumatic experiences but also be able to move on as well and not tie your life down to a spot because of something that happened in the past. So I've gotten to see if replicating or inflicting the kind of pain or trauma you experience on someone else can be deemed as an unintentional act and you shouldn't be held accountable. In this article I'll be stating my opinion on these using a personal experience as an example.
To start with, I understand what it means to go through pain and hurt, and I know the trauma that follows can be so disheartening because I've seen the effects on my life, and I can tell you for a fact that seeing how painful it was to go through that, I won't for any reason whatsoever want someone else to go through the same, even if it's my worst enemy, and that's why I believe anyone who inflicts pain on others and claims it's as a result of his or her last trauma is only lying. Our pains are valid, but they can't be a yardstick for our actions. Inasmuch as you know how painful it feels to be in that situation, you don't have any reason to do it to others.
Take for instance, in one of my write-ups, I remember I wrote about how I was sexually abused by someone during my childhood. I knew it wasn't right, and despite the fact that the lady in question threatened me with all kinds of things, I still managed to speak up, and by the time she was questioned, she said something like it's not her fault; it's because the same was also done to her while growing up. To cut the long story short, we saw how she was blaming her own traumatic experience as a reason for inflicting the same on me, and who knows any other kid she does it to? Now imagine if I had continued that trend and blamed it on my past as well; would it be normal?
Absolutely not, it's not a justifiable reason, and I believe anyone who does such should be made to face the full wrath of the law or, better still, be held accountable for their actions. You're doing that not because you have had such a traumatic experience but because you yourself believe doing it would be a form of revenge or something that'll make you heal. We must learn to speak up and seek help at every given time or another. Settle down and let yourself be counseled so you can heal completely from the traumatic experience you've been through. Because letting the pain determine who we are or what we do is not ideal.
Nothing can make you repeating what you went through on others become justifiable, and so If you do the same to others, depending on the gravity of your actions, it is what will determine if you can be forgiven or not, because for petty things, it might be overlooked, but for trivial ones, it'll be very difficult to forgive or let go. In fact, it's better you make such a person face the consequences of their actions so they and others will learn not to desist from doing such again. You are at the wheel of your life and decisions, so take responsibility and stop trying to blame it on what you've been through.
All photos are taken and edited on canva.