Through the years, among the countless lessons life has taught me was that promises aren’t just words, but they’re bonds. And I guess that's exactly why we've got this popular saying that says promises are a debt. With that awareness, I've tried as much as possible to abstain from promising anyone anything; however, life doesn't always go as we've planned it, and one of those times is even when the most sincere intentions face storms we didn’t see coming. Below, I'll be sharing an experience, and I hope you learn from it.
A couple of years ago, I was approached by one of my childhood friends, a lady who has been there for me in many of my toughest times. She's that kind of friend who supports you genuinely, from financial support to emotional support and even being present to walk through with me during those days. On this particular day she was the one whom life had held in a corner, and she approached me for support, not a loan but outright help, and I was eager to help her, so I promised to give her the amount in question immediately after I'm paid my salary before the week runs out.
I truly meant my promise because I know how good she has been to me. Unfortunately, prior to that day, my world turned upside down as I developed an unexpected illness that required a financial bill to be settled, and that led to me having to choose myself above her.By the time I told her about my situation, she was hurt, and I'm guessing she had been depending on my promise, which led to her not talking to me for weeks. I understood I was the cause and hated myself for not being able to keep my word. Although after some time I kind of think my act was justifiable because I need to prioritize my survival, despite the fact that it means losing a bit of trust.
On the other hand, I've also been disappointed by a broken promise, but I'd use one close to finances just like the one I broke; however, this one involves me lending a close friend money after he promised he'd pay me back by the end of the month, but he didn't keep up his word, because it's been almost two years now and he hasn't paid me back. I was asking at a point, but I just got tired and stopped asking. With the mindset that that's definitely the last time I'll go out of my way to help him, because he betrayed me, even going as far as ignoring my calls and messages before he finally blocked me on social media, I'm pained not just because of the money, but because of the belief, respect, and trust that had been pulled down.
Talking about if there can be valid reasons for one to break a promise, I'd say yes, not just because I've done that myself but because of several other reasons. We all know how unpredictable life can be; one minute you're fine, and the next minute you're in an emergency situation. So what matters, though, is how we communicate once such happens; we just have to be able to also make amends, and you yourself should be able to genuinely answer if your reasons were beyond your control or just out of convenience.
Overall, it's not actually good to break a promise especially when we consider the person who'll be affected by such, so I for one have learnt to be careful about making promises, so when the promise as to do with needs or emotions, I try as much as possible to distance myself from such commitment, On the other hand, when it comes to people promising me things, I make sure I don't wholeheartedly expect them to do it, basically leaving room for grace just in case life happens. So I won't be too overwhelmed with disappointment, because above all we're all humans who have flaws, who are still growing and trying to give their best.
All photos are mine.