I used to watch all these reels where you see little children and babies that can't leave their parents and have stripped their parents of their privacy. And then you see the parents make cute, adorable videos of when they are begging for the least privacy.
Every time I watch these videos, I smile so much that my jaw sometimes starts to hurt.
And it's just nature because babies depend on their parents, it's just like the babies and children are a part of the parents, so for the parents, there is nothing like privacy.
But it's even more funny when I think of how once upon a time, many of us teenagers and grown-ups were like those children and babies in the video reels. But fast forward to now, when we are no longer babies and children, and we treasure our privacy so much. I wonder why? Lol. Maybe it's because we aren't much dependent anymore, or maybe some people now have some things to hide, lol.
If you ask me if kids really need privacy, at some point I wouldn't really say they need it, but rather they want it. It's just like they see it as a characteristic of growth and getting bigger, so they want it.
Then, when they grow further, they actually need this privacy for many different reasons, especially female kids.
Kids wanting privacy at some point is just natural. The only thing we have to do is try to monitor and regulate it when at a stage that it is necessary, and I think this stage is especially when the child doesn't yet have full decision-making power.
For me, I think I would implement the open door policy on my children till around the age of 16 or so, maybe 15. Then maybe after 16, when my kid is more aware of decisions and it's more of a need and not a want them I would let go of it and give my kid at least 65 percent right to privacy.
And when I give them this privacy, then I can find other ways to make sure they just don't end up shutting me out of their life in the name of privacy. I don't know exactly how yet, but I would find a way not to be too invasive because most times it just makes them push back even harder.
And I would try not to give them too much privacy.
I really don't know how my mom did it for me, because for me, getting privacy as I grew felt like a very smooth transition.
I think that's where the importance of being not just a parent but also a friend to your kid comes in—the plays, the jokes, the gossip, the family meals eaten together—all these things so they see you less as someone who they need privacy from.
Another thing is respect. I think another reason why it was so smooth with my mom was that she made us respect her so much. So I bet many things she did that are just minor stuff that we never saw as invasive or anything, if it were a case where we didn't have that much respect for her, we would have perceived it as an invasion of privacy.
All this, and I feel like I still have a lot to learn when it comes to training a child. I guess it can never feel enough. But still, if you have any tips or ways you think are the right way to regulate your kids' privacy, then let me know.
Every little knowledge would go a long way in the future. Thank you!