The first thing I put or rather outline as my first rule when it comes to pressure. Pressure works hand in hand with the mind's perspective, strength, and aim.
For example, I can use what I am noticing in my country, Nigeria—the rapid growth of fraudsters that now seems like a normal thing. Most of these fraudsters never had it in mind to take that part, but when they end up being swayed by societal pressure or peer pressure, they end up all on the same page.
But then my point comes in with another example—I have a coursemate in school whose brother and cousins are fraudsters who live lavishly, but he leads a very different life. When he is asked or teased whether he wants to join the crowd, he would give a warm and bright smile and expand how their lifestyle was a motivational push for him—a push for him to be different and get to the top differently.
When it comes to me, I have always been a small, timid, and shy person. My cousins and my friends would always try to bad mouth me and pressure me into changing, but to no avail.
Until something that happened just last week Friday in an EDC class.
Me and both favors—my cousin and friend were early to the class so we took a seat under a working fan because the heat these days is something one can't write home about.
We stayed for a few seconds, and because of the heat, my cousin went out to buy a cold sachet of water for us while I stayed behind to look after their bags and seats.
Not long after Favor and my cousin left, one of my coursemates came in; she should be older than me, but not much. She came straight to where I was seated after scanning for areas with fans, and they were all taken already.
She walked to my front and kept her bag on my desk, “shift for me, let me sit down," she said with a stern face.
It took me seconds to reply to her because it was obvious she saw the bags on the seats and saw Favor and my cousin leaving the hall.
“There are already people here," I answered politely.
She eyed me, hissed then walked away. Then said something as she walked away that made me feel very bad and angry.
She said, "I don't even know how all these foolish children are here; they will occupy all the seats and still have empty brains,” and her friend was just laughing.
She didn't stop there but continued to make side comments as she sat with her friend and they kept laughing.
When Favor and my cousin returned, they noticed that I had changed—I was now quiet, frowning, and my eyes were red and watery from almost crying. At first, I didn't want to say anything so it wouldn't go further, but my cousin pressed me as I bulged. I told them everything that had happened, and they got really angry, even more than me. I was more sad than angry and they were furious.
Immediately my cousin went up to the girl and started talking to her. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but from my cousin's body language, I knew she was giving it to the girl ho,t, and the girl regretted her actions from her facial expression.
My cousin came back and said the girl apologized. But they still told me that I needed to meet her and sanction her.
They pressured me throughout and even during the lecture, my friend said, “If you don't confront her, don't ever talk to us again," and they were serious about it. After the class, I went to her and told her with a serious face, “Don't ever try that rubbish ever again," and before I finished, she apologized.
I walked back to my friend and cousin and they were both satisfied, but not as satisfied as I was. Normally, I would be down and may even cry when I get home, but after confronting her, I felt relieved and quite good.
Knowing my cousin she told me to confront the girl because she was the kind of girl with issues and will retaliate no matter what so I understood why she did it, but my friend favor isn't really one who liked altercations either, but her reason was so I could stand up for myself and not let people piss on me, and that is what I got at the end of the day the experience changed my mindset.