Marriage is a beautiful thing and nothing else binds two families together apart from marriage. Today, I shall be telling you how a traditional marriage ceremony is conducted in Isoko land.
The Isokos are a unique tribe found in the south central part of Delta State of Nigeria. We share boundaries with Kwale in the North, Urbobos in the west, Ndokwas in the east and Ijaws in the south. The Isokos are made up of 19 clans with a population of about 2.1 million people. The Isokos are very peaceful and accommodating people.
Traditional marriage in Isoko land is one of the simplest traditional marriages ever experienced. There are three steps one must take to be traditionally married to an Isoko lady. Yes, an Isoko lady because it's the woman that owns the traditional marriage in Isoko land and not the man.
The first step is called the first visit (Ega)
The first visit as the name implies is the very first visit made by the intended groom's parents to the intended bride's parents home. During this first visit, it's not compulsory for the intended groom or bride to be present as it is strictly between the parents of the intending couple.
On arrival, as it is the tradition of the Isokos, the bride's parents will welcome them with a bottle of alcohol and kolanut. The Kolanut will be supported with some money from the bride's family. This money is very important as kolanut must not sit alone on a plate in Isoko land. At the end of the support, the money gathered and the Kolanut is given to the oldest person in the groom's family present to share amongst them.
After that is done, the intending groom parents are asked to know what brings them visiting. Before making their intention known, they drop a bottle of alcohol and also some kolanuts which are also supported with money by their family and the money and kolanut given to the oldest in the Bride's family.
After the Kolanut ritual is done, their reason for visit is then made known. The Bride's family asks them to go and give them some time to see if they have such a lady in their family.
The intended groom's family leaves the house for a few minutes and waits to be called in by the bride's family. After they are back, they are informed that they have such a daughter at the celebration of the groom's family. Afterwards, they will be asked to come for a second visit and given a list of things they need to bring for the second visit.
The second visit is also known as the introduction ceremony.
On the day of the second visit, the intending groom accompanies his family to the intending bride's parents home. Once they are welcomed, the Kolanut ritual as explained above is repeated. After the ritual is done, the groom presents the gift items he brought which are usually assorted types of drinks and money as requested.
The bride is summoned from the room and asked if she knows the groom and if she is interested in marrying him. The question is asked three times and the bride is not allowed to say anything during the first two times. During these two times she is silent, the groom family is asked to start praying so their journey won't be in vain. At the third time, the bride is expected to answer in affirmative. Once she answers, the groom family will excitedly stand and do some dancing while the bride is taken back into the room.
After this, an official introduction of all the family members is done where everyone gets to know everyone. A marriage list is presented to the groom's family by the marriage committee of Isoko land. The groom is also given a list of people from the maternal and paternal side of the bride to be visited and given drinks.
At the end of the second visit, a date is chosen and agreed upon by both families.
The Traditional Marriage Day.
On the chosen date, the groom family and the bride family come together to celebrate the joining together of their son and daughter. The groom is dressed in a Georgian wrapper with a senator hat and a walking stick. Everyone looks gorgeously dressed.
At the arrival of the groom and his family, the bride's family welcomes them by performing the Kolanut ritual. After that, the groom is made to make his intentions known once again before the general public. At his declaration of his intention to marry their daughter, the Isoko Marriage committee brings out the marriage list which contains the bride price and some other items.
The bride price for an indigene is $2 while for non indigene is $2.5. The bride price is paid by the groom and all the items on the list are made available and checked to make sure they are complete. After the payment of the bride price, the bride is called to make her first appearance.
The bride's first appearance is in a different attire from her husband. She is dressed in two wrappers,a blouse and headgear as is the custom. She is escorted by only married women and asked not to smile because she is not supposed to be happy that she's leaving her parents. The bride dances accompanied by these married women to the table of the marriage committee. The bride is asked if she desires to marry the groom three times and she's only expected to answer the third time. After that is done, she signs the marriage certificate and goes back inside.
The bride is called out again, this time dressed in the same attire as her husband. She is escorted with dancing by only married women. She dances to her father's table where she is asked to kneel down to receive a glass of palm wine which she will give to her husband.
She receives a glass of palm wine from her father. Her father prays for her and her husband who is standing behind her. After the prayer, she turns and gives the glass of palmwine to her husband still kneeling. The husband drinks a little from the glass and gives her a drink. The pattern is repeated until the drink is finished but must be finished by the husband. The husband is then asked to lift the bride from the ground which he does to the applause of the crowd.
The couple dances around to greet everyone present before going to sit on their seat. While seated, women come to them and place wrappers on the shoulder of the bride while men spray money into a basin placed Infront of them.
Traditional marriage ceremonies in Isoko land are not complete without an excursion. The bride's family without her mum and siblings must escort her to the home of her husband. The bride is covered with a wrapper so people won't see her face. Her aunties then carry her boxes on their heads with a mattress and complete kitchen utensils and accompany her. A sorrowful song is sung indicating that they are sad to see her go.
On arrival at her husband's house, the groom's mother brings out salt and gives it to the bride's family indicating that the bride will be a salt in their family. They also give the bride's family a pregnant goat indicating that the bride will be fruitful in their home.
After eating and drinking, the bride's family bids her goodbye and goes back home with the gift items received.
This is how traditional marriage ceremonies are conducted in Isoko land. If you are of the age of marriage and desire to marry from a tribe who wouldn't give you stress then, think Isoko land.
All pictures from my gallery.