Hello Neighbors. Return your seats to their upright positions. It’s time for Neighborhood News!
After some setbacks and blazing infernos, The New Sun Project was a success! In fact, it was so successful that we are now able to finally decommission the old Sun once and for all. Chief Engineer Mark Timberlake drafted up plans to build a concrete wall to surround the gigantic nuisance, which were brought by yours truly to the HOA for approval.
The HOA carefully read over the proposal, and in perfect unison, cheered and hollered and cackled. Their conjoined Hand gave a ceremonial thumbs up, and all were merry. The Roast Duck was brought into The Meeting House for the banquet, as is tradition, and cocktails were silently served by the reformed rabblerousers who defaced the Neighborhood Clubhouse with graffiti depicting freedom and happiness. We feasted for exactly one hour in utter silence, then I went home to watch Judge Dredd (the old one – it’s better). It was a good evening.
HOA approved initiatives are now underway to rid ourselves of the Sun.
A newfound Era of Prosperity and only having only one Sun will befall Our Utopian Paradise, and you’ll be able to go back outside and mow your tattered lawns without SPF1000 sunblock.
Staring into The New Sun is strongly encouraged and even mandatory if it begins flashing public service announcements.
On to the news:
Tony’s Delicatessen has opened for business on the South corner of Shady Palms Drive in the Shady Palms Shopping Plaza, betwixt the Cash In Cash Out Laundromat and “It Fell off the Truck" Thrift Store. Tony’s sells a fine selection of smoked meats that he was happy to let us confiscate and taste. His salami on rye sandwich is out of this world. He was giving away free samples yesterday to get you hooked, so get on down to Tony’s and beg for morsels.
The Neighborhood pool is no longer a crime scene and is ready to be used once again. There’s no active lifeguard on duty. If anybody knows what happened to him, please contact the Neighborhood Watch Association. Our No-Snitching policy will not apply this time. Swim at your own risk!
In other news, amateur Neighborhood investigator Middy Rosenberg has discovered a tree that reaches into the clouds. Conjectures run aplenty as to what can be found at the top of the tree. Some say there’s treasure, some think there’s another realm or two, and I think it goes on ad infinitum. Nobody has reached the top yet, so I’m going to go ahead and call this one an infinitree.
The Infinitree is located in the center of the creepy cornfield that we don’t like to talk about.
And remember Neighbors: The past is the past; we live in the present; the future is undetermined. No matter where you’ve set your roots, there’s always room to grow.
(Want to move into The Hood? We can always evict HOA-labeled dissidents to make room! All are welcome! Become one of Us here: created/hive-154988. Be Our Neighbor.)
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