We don't have much growing up. Going to fast food chains are so rare. We often eat eggs and canned goods for days.

It was on special occasions that I can have a taste of Jollibee, like my birthdays, graduations, and such. But now as a working adult, I can afford to buy meals for myself, I can eat anytime I want. Realizing this kind of stuff makes me say that I have done really well.

We can clearly say that most of us hold a healing inner child inside of us. It is true that time has been really simple before. We can be careless and be less complicated.

Now being faced with challenges in life and a quite big middle-life crisis, I find myself too hard on myself. Not realizing that my inner child is crying in pain. We have done so much that we can be proud of, these are just obstacles to face, you have faced too many fiercer challenges before. Do not be too hard on yourself.

It will never be too late.

Life is an endless road of possibilities.

We didn't have that much and I finished my schooling through scholarship grants and sheer hard work. I remembered that days before my high school graduation I still need to mix cement under the scorching sun just to have enough to pay for my graduation fee. My family is that too perfect also. No one came with me during the ceremony because had to leave before it even start. I know it is also hard for her but that was my special day.

After the ceremony, I walked alone. The graduation ceremony was set in a far convention center in our city. In the middle of the night, I walked alone and reflect. Is anyone even happy with what I have reached? I am the top 11 student out of 100s of students in a science class and received special awards in writing. Weren't those achievements enough for someone to celebrate with me?

That the hardest part of that is the realization of tomorrow, what should happen to me next? We don't have money to pay for tuition even pay for an entrance exam.

I tried to apply for various scholarship grants but I was too late for most of them because they were already filled. So I mindless walk again.

After graduation, I applied for a summer working student program to somehow earn enough for tuition. I was able to enroll for one semester of BS Information Technology, and realizing that there is so much needed to comply and pay for, I stopped for a semester to work again.

After working for a few months, I am conditioned to just continue to the employment path and work my ass off. But fate did not let me do so. A month before the next school year begin, my cousin messaged me that there is a scholarship grant that I can apply to on her work, but the programs are limited. I took the opportunity to apply and landed a taking up BS Secondary Education Major in English.

I have never dreamt of being a teacher but this is my only hope (that's what I thought).

I am the first college graduate in my family, considering that I am the third eldest child. This shows that my parents were not that fully aware of the opportunities for scholarship grants. Having a clear thought of it now, my life has been an example of the idea that if you are too dumb and scared to make a decision for yourself, someone else will do it for you.

In my case, that was my last option, that was the only chance that I see.

Fast forward to today, I am now a college professor with a Master's degree in Curriculum Development and bachelor's units in Information Technology and Computer Science. It is a dream that I was not reaching but was able to do so, which is not a good thing for me.

I failed to celebrate these achievements, I was so stubborn and dumb not to embrace what I have done and the luck that I had to reach these. There are so many who are willing to do anything just to get where I am now. And here I am sulking on the things that are less important.

Even though that path that I had was not even my dream, I need to accept that this is what God has led me to do. I need to learn to be more grateful for this and use all of these blessings to also bless others.

I am now supporting my youngest brother in his studies and as his guardian at home. Providing for my family is a task that I am willing to take on and will not get tired of. I will be the person that I needed when I was just studying, I will not let my brother feel the hardship I faced growing up.

We are all healing our inner child.

Now that I am earning enough, I can buy and do things that I wasn't able to do growing up. Healing my inner child involves taking care of and looking after my youngest brother too. I will keep on pushing and trying hard to be a role model for him and do what it takes to provide a better life for our family.

Living with a broken family is tough, but for sure it is tougher for my younger brother.

I will get stronger and push through. I am still in search of my true calling, I know it will never be too late to start.

_{All shots are from my phone. I don't have a professional camera but I am saving up some money to buy one.}

THANK YOU FOR READING MY BLOG!

This blog is to make sure that I am #aliveandthriving. Being #alive is a huge blessing and I am happy to celebrate it every day!

Untitled (1080 × 80 px).png

Hey! Roi here, your favorite garlic! I am a small Filipino streamer on twitch.

Recently I find myself enjoying blogging and curation. I hope you enjoy your read today. Your upvote is greatly appreciated.

Before you go I want to remind you that you are awesome! If you ever feel alone and you got no one to talk to message me in discord CmmndrBawang#5457.

SHOUTOUT

Huge thanks and much love to the people who sponsor my stream and my peakd posts:

Rising Star: Rising Star is a game made for musicians and music lovers! Earn Starbits by completing standard missions and other tokens by completing special missions. ^{^{Hive account@risingstargame Hive account@atomcollector}}
Hive account@stickupboys : A very amazing band! Follow them on Youtube and Spotify
Faded Monsuta : Introducing a wild and fantastical Trading Card Game concept, Faded Monsuta provides entertaining gameplay and strategies at the expense of its slew of paraphernalia pals.
Hive account@clove71 and Hive account@splinterlandshq for the early boost on my streaming and splinterlands career. You guys are forever tattooed on my heart.