After two sleepless nights, I finally slept. You’d think that would fix everything, right? Nope. I woke up feeling a bit off, as if my brain had forgotten how to process rest. It’s all part of the rollercoaster ride that is my hormonal cycle, a cycle that doesn’t seem to know whether it’s coming or going these days. Ah, perimenopause, the gift that keeps on giving.
But then, the sun came out after a night of snow. And in Belgium, that’s always a little victory. After weeks of fog and rain, seeing sunlight makes a difference. It gave me a moment to breathe, even if my day was mostly spent in the car. And let me tell you, driving in Belgium is always an adventure. A bit spicy, as I like to call it. But hey, I survived.
One highlight of my day was a phone call with one of my sons. We talked, laughed, caught up, and it was lovely. But when the call ended, something hit me, hard. I miss him. Really miss him. It felt like a hammer to the heart.
It’s funny how these feelings sneak up on you. One moment, you’re fine, and the next, you’re overwhelmed by how fast time flies. One day, they’re little kids holding your hand, and the next, they’re out in the world, becoming incredible people you’re so proud of, but you still miss those simpler days.
That sharp pang of missing him is part of this hormonal rollercoaster, I know. It will pass, like it always does. But it doesn’t make it easier in the moment. Living with endometriosis and being perimenopausal isn’t exactly a walk in the park. Some days feel heavier than others.
But here’s the thing I’m holding onto today, there is always light, even in the messy moments. It’s in the sunshine breaking through the clouds. It’s in the joy of a phone call with someone you love. It’s in the reminder that, even when we feel down, we’re never stuck there forever.
These hormonal waves will pass. The challenges will ebb and flow. And in between, there are moments of connection, laughter, and light.
So tonight, I’ll take a moment to breathe. To rest. To remind myself that I’m doing the best I can, even on the days that feel hard. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s full of beauty, even in the chaos.
And if you’re reading this feeling a little overwhelmed, remember, it’s okay to feel everything. The highs, the lows, and all the in-betweens. Life moves fast, but there’s always something to cherish along the way.
With love,
A Mom Who’s Learning to Ride the Waves and Appreciate the Sun
All pictures are mine taken with the Iphone14