Eyes Looking Away - Pencil on 200gsm Paper (drawing cartridge)

Artistic inspiration is not something that is always present. It is sometimes like a wind that comes from nowhere. I had the opportunity to draw something more detailed for the first time in what feels like years. At first, I felt but then the smell of pencil shavings got me intoxicated and fell into the familiar rhythm.

Please enjoy three variations or different photographs of my artwork "Eyes Looking Away". Below you will find the progress photographs, and below that, you will find a philosophical essay linked to the sketch. I hope you enjoy my first sketch in a really long time.

| Photograph taken with an iPhone and little editing |

| Photograph taken with a Nikon D300 with a 50mm f/1.8 lens and little editing |

| Photograph taken with a Nikon D300 with a 50mm f/1.8 lens and contrast bumbed up to "erase" the paper |

(Side note: I do not really know how to edit photographs of my sketches. If you have any tips, that would be awesome if you can comment down below!)

Progress of the Artwork

Herewith is the progress of this artwork as I drew it:

To Look is Always to Look Away - A Philosophical Essay

The active gazing towards something is always already to look away from everything else which you could have looked at. To choose something is always already to not-choose a myriad of other things.

Inherent and seemingly absent in our choices and our looking is the always already present absence of our not-choosing and not-looking. An infinite array of present-absentness is stored inside of every choice and active gaze. That is, everything that could have been is already stored inside of the choices we make.

I look at my computer screen, but I could have looked at the TV, a book, my phone, the list is endless. But those are all possible choices I could have made. But I did not. I actively looked away from all of those to look at my computer screen.

What is the implication of this? For this, we need to briefly take a detour to Derrida. Always Derrida! Inside of his idea of hospitality hides the implication of what I wrote above.

For Derrida, to be hospitable necessarily entails the possibility of what he calls an "absolute surprise". That is, to be truly hospitable we need to accept the inevitable surprise of death, discomfort, and so on. Think about a backpacker. To be truly hospitable, the owner cannot show you away, her door should always be open. But to always have one's door open entails that disaster can also enter your home/backpacker.

To get back to our idea of looking being always already looking away, linked now with Derrida, we can say that to look we need to have this always already knowing that we can see something that will "absolutely surprise" us. To actively gaze at the computer, I might be surprised by what I see. But now we should also keep in mind that not looking is also always already a choice. But by choosing not to look, we forfeit our responsibility of looking. That is, by not looking we try to close our door of hospitality to the world. The world tries to "absolutely surprise" us, but we do not want this. But we need to embody our responsibility to not look away.

Derrida concluded that we have an absolute responsibility to actively choose. So too are we necessitated by our responsibility to look and to not look away.

Postscriptum, or Sharpen the Pencil but Keep the Shavings

I hope you enjoyed my artwork and if you read the little essay that too! This is the first real sketch I made in what feels like years. I think I did not lose too much of my ability in this long hiatus. The sketch is mine, and the person whose eyes I used is aware of me drawing her and posting it here. The photographs are mine, and the musings are due to the intoxication of the pencil shavings I kept close by after I sharpened my pencil. Stay safe and happy drawing