"Fill the Empty Room"

Fill The Empty Room
Mixed Media
2018

This piece became part of my journey of accepting myself.

Story Time

Growing up, I cannot fall asleep when the lights are off and without pillows and other stuff on my bedside. I thought it wasn't serious and I normalize this thing.

I thought it was normal to turn on the lights every time I go to sleep to feel safe just like my mom's hug. I thought it was normal to put the pillows on both sides of my bed so I won't feel alone. I always thought that if I fill up my empty room with a bunch of stuff, it would also fill up my emptiness inside.

Unlike a normal child, I was raised in my grandparent's house by a single mom. After several years, I turned 6 and my mom left me to have her own family. Not before I finish grade school, she came back to live with us again.

At an early age, I understand the feeling of being alone and left behind. Those experiences happened in a short period of time but up until now, the feeling of emptiness remains.