Hi friends, hope you're all doing great.
Picture taken from my phone.
Wow! I can't believe that I finally got an opportunity to share my ordeal with wonderful people like you. Yes hivers are amazing people, given opportunities to people like myself. If not for hive who will hear my voice.
Please I suggest that if you are standing up right now, get a seat and do yourself good by sitting down, because you can't stand while reading a story of this magnitude.
This tale is my true life story and is going to be in sequence, because I will like to carry you through my world. So tighten your seat belt for the journey is far, but I will like to be brief in this first sequence.
Picture taken from my phone.
Children need someone to understand what they are going through at their own level, but most times it is difficult for parents to really understand what is going on in the little mind of a child,.
During my childhood days as far back as 1985, I went through a lot and the people around me could not comprehend what I was going through, so I was misunderstood. I began to grow up as a sad child and most times I felt like taken my own life, but I never had the courage to do it.
I was in primary three in 1985, when I experienced what was beyond me. I suddenly felt empty inside, can't remember most things especially anything that has to do with school. I used to be one of the pupils that can read in my class, though not fluently, but at least I know that I can read to an extent. But this time, when I see any book and want to read, it will be as if I have never read all my life, it kept growing worse as the days goes by. I also discovered that I became afraid of my teachers, because I can't comprehend what is happening in school anymore. This became the beginning of a journey that affected me all through my growing up even till today.
Though I don't know what to call it, don't know if is a sickness or not, but all I know is that what soever it, it is not what you will wish your enemies to go through in life.
I became like an empty can looking very good outside but having nothing inside. When I was moved to primary 3, I was doing well in my little way. I took 4th position out of 35 pupils, but when I left primary 3 to primary 4, I took 34th position out of 35 pupils. I can remember playing too much with kids that have A1 in playing just like myself, our teacher in the class did not help matters, he will always use half of his time to play with us, at the end, he will end up not teaching us anything serious for the day. Unlike today when we have a teacher for each subject, then it was a teacher to a class and he/she will teach all the subjects.
So, for that one year in that class, every thing I used to know as a student was wiped away. I began to see everything happening in school as though they are strange. I kept asking myself "what is wrong with you " but no answer was coming. I became afraid of going to school because I know that my teachers will beat the hell out of me if I don't answer questions or participate in the activities in class, but what can I do, I had to keep going to school hopping that one day things will get better. But it did not happen that way, in fact things got worse.
My mother began to notice the change in me and started complaining, but it did not help in anyway, my teachers also complained and even flogged me at times to see if I will go back to the smart girl I use to be, but all to no avail.
I managed to graduate from primary school to secondary school, but at this point I developed hatred for school. I was in love with school before, but now school has turn to be a dens of lion to me. In high school or secondary school as the case maybe, the teachers made things worse for me, because some of them do come to class with a very big can to deal with students that are not serious with their studies, and I happen to be one of those students. The fear of going to school increased the more. Sometimes I pretend to be sick because I don't want to go to school.
At the end of my first year in secondary school I came last in class, meaning that everyone was better than myself. My mother at this point could not take it anymore, she called on a lady living in the same house with us to talk to me so that I will make my choice either to continue with my education or drop out to learn a trade, her reasons was that school is not meant for unserious children like me and she will not continue to waste her money on my education. That day I looked up and looked down for answers and they were not forth coming. I know I don't like school, but I don't want to drop out of school, so what do I do? I was not the type that opens up easily, so I could not even talk to anyone concerning what I am going through. My mother was waiting for my answers. But I didn't know what to say.
Picture taken from my phone.
At that moment, it seems as if I was standing on a cross road, not knowing which way to take that will lead me to my destination.
For today, I think I will drop my pen here.
Our people say that "he who fight and run, leaves to fight another day"
In that note, we will stop here so that we can gather strength to continue this journey.
Picture taken from my phone.
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Thanks , love you all.
