PC:Chess.com
You will agree with me that most people in virtually every community we find ourselves as chess players always think of chess players as nerds and boring people. Some say,
"Nahh, they are too serious and a gathering of them will be soooooo boring that I can't bear." Ohh, for someone like me who have had two break ups because of chess, I won't really care. At least my chess career began because of a break up anyways(partially). 😂😂😂 🤷. .
The truth is that it is actually a lot of fun to be a chess players and chess players are one of the most funniest people you can find on this earth. But you might not really understand a chess joke until you learn how to play chess. So learn chess today!
In this article, I made a compilation of 20 chess jokes from different platforms and websites like chess.com and upjokes.com. Well, I would have mentioned the authors of these jokes but the question is, do jokes have authors?😂😂😂 It took me more than expected to compile these jokes because I laughed each time I see them.
PC: Chess.com
Below are the jokes I have compiled for your amusement. I trust you are going to find the jokes very funny and they will crack you up definitely:
- Do machines lie?
"I have invented a chess engine that mimics human play", said a computer science student to his professor. "So does it play more natural moves?" the Professor asked. The student replied "No, but it also blames its losses on outside conditions like noise weather and ray of light." - Anxiety postponed
Two chess players are playing a correspondence game. White lives at the south pole while Black lives at the North pole. The postal service is slow and play proceeds at the rate of one move per year. After 15 years of play, white made a daring Queen sacrifice the consequences of which are by no means clear.
A year later, he sees the post man approaching and he feels so excited. His heart races with a lot of questions in his mind. "Will black take my Queen?", "Is my Queen sacrifice sound?" He opens up the envelope with the reply and reads: "J'adoube" (meaning I adjust)
The way to go.
A guy comes across an old friend sitting in a restaurant and lost in thought. After some moments of talking, his friend said, "My girlfriend told me if I participate in this Chess tournament that's the last straw–she is leaving"
Concerned, the guy asked, "so what are you gonna do?" He replied, "well 1. e4 of course. "Dinner with Kasparov
Two friends were having conversations:
"So last night I had a dinner with Kasparov."
"Cool! How was it?"
"It was nice and all, but we had to eat cold meal."
"Oh, why is that?"
"We had a checkered table cloth and it took him one hour to pass me the salt."
- Not as smart as you think.
A girl comes across a guy playing chess against his dog.
The girl was impressed and said,
"What a clever dog!"
The man responds,
"No, no, he is not clever. I am leading three games to one!"
- By Chess Kid CCO FM Mike Klein's Anecdote.
I was in New York City visiting a friend many years ago and went out for a coffee one morning. At 8 a.m. on the corner of Amsterdam at 72 street, I saw Bruce Pandolfini waiting for a bus. I had never met him before but suddenly I knew his face and he knew mine. We both have
each other a solemn head nod as we went about our own way. At 8 a.m. the second day, I was on the corner of Amsterdam at 72nd street getting coffee and lo and behold, I saw Bruce Pandolfini waiting to catch the bus again. This time it was
clear that someone had to say something. Bruce walked up to me and said, "You know, if we see each other tomorrow, it will be a draw by repitition."
- Chess in heaven
A chess master died—after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice, it was the master.
"What's it like where you are now?", the friend asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or bad news?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, it's really heaven here. There a re tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time. Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Talk, Botvinnik, they are all here and you can play them."
"Fantastic! So what's the bad news?"
" You have black against capablanca on Saturday."
Q: Where do chess players go to chill?
A:To a pawn island.Q: Where do chess players go to have a bargain?
A: To a pawn shop.Q:Why do artists suck at chess?
A: That's because they like to draw.Q: What did the chess champion ask Michael Jackson before their game?
A: Are you white or black?Q: Why does Osama Bin Laden always win in chess games?
A: Because he plays pawn to C4.Q: Why are British people very good in chess?
A: That's because their Queen never dies.Q: What happens if you forget chess rules in the middle of a game?
A: Don't worry. You are allowed to check.Q: Why does the Queen have much more mobility than the king in chess?
A: Because the chess board looks like the kitchen floor.Q: What is the favorite move of a chess player suffering from OCD?
A: Double check.Q: How did the menace defeat the chess grandmaster in three moves?
A: He stood up, picked a chair and hit the master. Game over!Q: Why do nice guys suck at chess?
A: They never protect the King, always the Queen.Q: How do you respond to 1.Nf3
A: I. am not Reti for that.Q: Why do parrots hate chess games?
A: Because only Toucan play.
Which of the jokes did you find most funny? Contribute with your jokes too if you have one and let's show the world that we chess players have great sense of humor. 😂💪