Would You Rather Be Respected for Who You Are or Loved for Who You’re Not?
If I had to choose between being respected for who I am or loved for who I’m not, I would choose respect without hesitation. The idea of being loved for someone I am not feels like living in a prison, It’s like wearing a mask every single day and pretending to be a version of myself that doesn’t even exist. That’s not love, i've become an actor,it’s performance. And deep down, I would know it, to me, that feels like a slow kind of death, where your real self is suffocated just so others can accept a lie.
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I tasted from both worlds, I’ve lived through moments where I felt the pressure to live up to expectations that weren’t truly mine and believe me the society has a way of silently telling you how you should act, what path you should follow, and even how you should carry yourself if you want to fit in. There were times I tried to adjust my personality to match the people around me, just so I could belong. At first, it seemed to work, people warmed up to me, included me, and I felt noticed but deep down, I wasn't alright i was miserable. They weren’t connecting with me, they were connecting with the mask I had carefully put on. The part that scares me more is how easy it felt to lose sight of who I really was in the process.
On the other hand, being respected for who I am has always felt much more fulfilling, honestly speaking. Respect doesn’t mean everyone will like you necessarily, in fact, sometimes it means fewer people will like you, it means people see your flaws and all, and still recognize your worth and are willing to build you, they're even patient to grow with you. Even those who don’t like you at least acknowledge that you stand for something real. That kind of recognition builds a sense of dignity and keeps you in check, It reminds you that you don’t need to shrink yourself to fit into someone else’s shadow.
The world we live in today makes it so tempting to crave being loved, especially in the age of social media. It’s easy to create a polished version of yourself online, carefully planned so people can adore you. But hope we understand that kind of love is fragile, it vanishes the moment you stop feeding it, It’s conditional and shallow. Respect, on the other hand, comes from authenticity, It lasts longer because it’s rooted in truth, not drama.
If you find yourself explaining your worth, you’ve already forgotten your value. I hold this words dearly , it's something I had to learn the hard way. Only Respect can explain your worth, Respect grows out of authenticity, It might not attract crowds, but the ones who stay will value the real me. Eventually, those who respect you for being genuine will also love you for the same reason because they see you, not the image you’ve built to please them.
I’ve also learned something important along the way, you won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s okay. That’s exactly why you have to be a priority to yourself. Respecting yourself is the foundation of everything else,when you treat yourself with worth, set boundaries, and take care of your own needs, you stop waiting for others to choose you. Instead, you choose yourself, respecting yourself creates a possibility for others to respect you.And that kind of strength not only gives you peace it attracts the right kind of people, the ones who will both respect and love you for who you are.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to this, I never want to be loved for who I am not, That’s not love,it’s deception, and it strips away the very core of who I am. I’d rather be respected for who I truly am, even if that means standing alone sometimes. Because when you respect yourself and live in truth, you’re never truly alone. And in time, the people who truly matter will see that, respect it, and love you for it.