Letting go sounds like an easy task or thing to do until it's anyone's turn to do it. I have heard people say it like it's just another decision. "Walk away if it doesn't serve you". But sometimes, what we might need to let go of are the things that once made us happy, or something we believed were the right thing at one time.
Letting of certain things isn't easy... I've had to do it a few times. The major reason why it was hard for me was not because I believed they were right or good but because somehow, they had become a part of me. Things like people pleasing, comparing myself to others, and eventually, some friendships. I didn't let go of all these at once, but one led to the other.
I'll start with people pleasing because that one shaped me for years. I was someone who always wanted to appear like a good person to others and I didn't like disappointing. I would rather inconvenience myself than say no. I rushed in to help anyone at any time, even when I lacked the time or energy to offer the help, simply because I wanted others to see me as compassionate understanding, caring and so on. Perhaps I was all these, but all my actions to help and to been seen as such was not motivated by kindness, but just to avoid people seeing me as rude, uncaring or apathetic.
After a while of doing this, I started to realise that there was no peace in people pleasing, it only made me tired. I cannot control how people see me no matter how much effort I might put into doing right by them. Sometimes even with my effort of trying to help someone with one thing or the other, i still have been misunderstood and/or been found to fault. This was hard to digest in the beginning, but it helped me to stop apologising to people for not being what they want from me.
Then there was comparison. This one came in quietly. I kept lying to myself that I wasn't comparing, that I was just being "motivated". But there is a thin line between the two. I would look at people that are about my age doing things that I haven't done yet, earning big, traveling, getting recognition, and I start to question my own pace. I would ask myself what exactly I was doing wrong. But I doubt I was doing anything wrong. I was just living my life in my own way. It dawned on me that, while everything I saw about others on the Internet makes them seem perfect, this information is generally limited to accomplishment only. After realising this, I also realised that I had grown so much and no longer had to compare myself to others, I began to appreciate my own accomplishments.
Friendships were by far the hardest to let go of. I didn't think I would be letting go of some certain friendships, but there were some people that I had to eventually. The few friends I do have are significant to me as I do not have many. There was a point, I was unsure if I was remaining friends because I loved them or because I wad comfortable in the situation. As soon as I stopped trying so hard, several of them faded away completely. Certainly there were days that I have missed them even while knowing that they no longer contributed positively to my life. Nevertheless, I knew that I made the right choice from the peace that came after letting go.
Letting go has taught me that sometimes peace of mind comes after the pain. It might not be easy but it is necessary, sometimes.
Thanks for reading...
