Hello Real Talk family and friends of Hiveđ¤! Welcome to my Real Talk Prompt 4 blog. Own your voice, no judgmentâ¤ď¸.
Do We Choose Our Friends, or Do Circumstances Choose Them for Us?
According to my perspective, I believe that circumstances choose our friends for us first. Because of human nature and the fear of rejection, most often wait for situations that can accomodate us; ones with lower chances of rejection. Rarely do we choose friends in isolation; most friendships begin in shared situations. That's where conversations start, strangers become acquaintances, slowly rise to friends, and if the bond is well maintained, they turn into family.
All the friendships I have formed and dissolved, are out of circumstance. It has been my catalyst in meeting and making friends. However, even though circumstances choose for us, it's entirely up to us to determine whether we shall keep them, or just let go. You know, like the phrase, "strangers turned friends to strangers again." When the situation that brought us together ends, that's when we decide whether those people remain as friends or just acquaintances.
When I came to coast, I only knew two people; my homegirl, and a friend who had been married in our village and later moved out. Through my second friend, I met my now best friend. If I do the maths, and assume that I never came to the coast, then I wouldn't have met Ess and we wouldn't be friends. Circumstance brought us together, but as I continued to interact with her, I knew she was for keeps. I didn't choose her, circumstance did, but I chose to keep her.
I had this other friend who the gym brought me together with. I say had because right now, since I don't attend the gym anymore, our friendship dissolved into acquaintances. We aren't complete strangers yet, but we aren't close either. Had I continued going to the gym, maybe we'd still be friends.
All I can say about this week's prompt is, even with all the values we look for in friendships, circumstance is the first catalyst that brings us together. It lays the foundation for socializing with others, before leaving us the choice to decide who becomes a friend, who remains an acquaintance, and who drifts back into being a stranger. Life chooses first, but we get to keep.
