Between Honesty Or Deep Sleep?
DRUNK & FLY
Hii everyone, I'm Humansleep. This time I want to post my work again in the Alien Art Hive community. And here I will also share a work process whether it's drawing or sketching that I will later do as an effort to be seen and appreciated.
• upekṣhā fana — temporary tranquility.
• upekṣhā fana — temporary tranquility.
• between honesty or deep sleep — between painful honesty or a long sleep that makes you forget everything.
PROLOGUE: OBSERVER.
“Between Honesty Or Deep Sleep” is a story about a quiet moment in someone's life — when hiding something is far more exhausting than facing the consequences. And when we are honest not because we are brave, but because we are too tired to keep lying. And hiding behind a mask. Involving alcohol as an alternative way to achieve honesty or fall into a deep sleep after that honesty is revealed.
It is indeed part of the forbidden category, but it is the most “honest” and “sincere” in offering a embrace of calmness and warmth to anyone who enjoys it, even though that calmness is only “fana” and not eternal. But that’s more than enough.
“Na kāmaye sukhaṁ, na kāmaye duḥkhaṁ – kāmaye Upekṣhā.”
“I desire neither happiness nor suffering. I desire only equanimity.”
Storyline:
I. THE ONE WHO IS TOO AWARE
His name is unknown.
He is neither young nor old.
His soul is weary. But not dead.
At least not yet.
Every night, he sits alone in his dark room.
Accompanied by a bottle of madhu-floxide, the last remnant of an ancient spring located at the end of a remote, deserted cave.
“This drink is not for escaping reality,” he says.
“But to force me to see reality — naked, without illusion.”
Every sip is honesty.
About himself. About the world.
About his heart that cries silently.
About the past that always haunts him.
About himself who wants to die, but is too cowardly to do it.
II. SLEEP AS AN ALTERNATIVE
But on certain nights, He refused to drink.
He chose to sleep.
Long. Deep.
Not for rest,
but to disappear.
Sleep is the only place
where honesty cannot follow him.
Where guilt finds no entrance.
“Nidrā me śaraṇam — let sleep be my refuge.”
But sleep also betrays him.
Because even in his dreams, he still sees himself.
And he wishes he would never wake up.
III. UPEKṢHĀ FANA — TEMPORARY PEACE
One night, between drunkenness and sleep,
He experienced something strange:
a sense of peace.
Everything was silent.
No sounds. No pain.
No memories of childhood,
no fears about the future.
Only silence.
“Upekṣhā,” he whispered.
“This is it... what I've been searching for all this time. Peace. Not happiness. Not sadness. Just... emptiness.”
But like dew,
the tranquility lasted only a moment.
It evaporated.
And the world screamed again in his mind.
“Upekṣhā fana,” he understood now.
“Peace cannot be possessed.
It only passes through. And leaves. Like everything I love.”
IV. THE FINAL HONESTY
At some point, between drunkenness and sleep,
He sat facing the reflection of a puddle of water.
He saw his own eyes.
And for the first time, he spoke honestly,
not to the world, but to himself:
"I don't want to die.
But I also don't want to live like this."
“I just want to fly, far away from the voices in my head.”
“Na jīvitum icchāmi, na maraṇam – icchāmi mokṣam”
“I don't want to live, I don't want to die — I want freedom.”
V. DRUNK & FLY
That night, he drank half a bottle of Floxide.
Then he lay down and closed his eyes.
Not to sleep.
Not to die.
But to let go of everything.
And between two worlds,
He felt his body grow light.
Very light.
He flew.
Drunk.
Silent.
Peaceful.
But only for a moment.
🕯️ Closing
“Drunk & Fly” is not about alcohol, nor is it about escape.
It is a story about a soul trapped between two extremes:
Painful honesty,
and Sleep that numbs the senses.
In between, there comes occasional upekṣā — tranquility.
But it is fana — short-lived.
And perhaps,
that is enough.
This image was created on paper, using ink and pencil. and then finished using two software programs: Adobe Illustrator and Adobe Photoshop.
In this section, I redrew the sketch and updated it a little.
After completing the sketch in Adobe Illustrator, it is then imported into a second software program, Adobe Photoshop, to continue the coloring process.
Final Quote:
“Yadā tvaṁ na roditi, na hāsyati, na cintayati – tadā jīvanam asti.”
"When you no longer cry, laugh, or worry...
that is when life is truly present."
BETWEEN HONESTY OR DEEP SLEEP/UPEKSHA FANA.
It tells the story of someone who wants to feel or obtain instant peace. Or it could be like an escape/outlet, but it does not involve other people. They choose an alternative way to obtain it or just to vent all their fatigue. By involving prohibited items just to obtain something rare, even if it is only temporary and not permanent. But for those who do not obtain it, at least that way is more than enough just to feel it.
This is all I can say for right now, sorry if there are wrong words or my typing is not perfect.
Thank you for taking the time just to stop by and see my work, and see you in my next work. 👽🖐