WATCHING HER DIE WITH HER OWN MIND
hello everyone, my name is Humansleep. and here I want to post my work again in the Alien Art Hive community. and also share a process or drawing or making sketches that I will later work on as an effort to be seen and appreciated.
It is a parasite that needs a host to survive, and it needs a supply from its host. Without a supply from its host, it will not be able to survive and will only become a small bacterium/dung that comes from the big toe.
Aimed at the weakest, sneakiest and most cowardly of creatures, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).
NPD stands for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is a mental health condition characterized by a long-term pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), a need to be admired, and a lack of empathy. Individuals with NPD often have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and may struggle to recognize or care about the feelings and needs of others.
It is a parasite that needs a host to survive, and it needs a supply from its host. Without a supply from its host, it will not be able to survive and will only become a small bacterium/dung that comes from the big toe.
An NPD can also disguise himself into whatever he wants, which aims to trap his prey and fall into the trap he has prepared, such as looking polite to be accepted by the environment and the public, but also look attractive to his prey. Or blatantly, but this is very (optional).
And the way he traps his prey is also quite interesting.
Example:
A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) often uses various manipulative tactics to entrap or control others, especially in personal or professional relationships. The aim is to maintain a sense of superiority, power and control, and to fulfill their need for attention and admiration.
Love Bombing
At the beginning of the relationship, they may show excessive attention, compliments, and affection that seem genuine. They give a “body and soul” feeling to make the victim feel highly valued and desired. This can be very tempting for people who feel lonely or want to be appreciated. This tactic aims to make the victim feel deeply connected and dependent on them.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the perpetrator tries to make the victim doubt their own reality, memories or perceptions. They may deny or distort facts, even blaming the victim for mistakes or difficulties they actually caused. It aims to exert perception and control over the victim, leaving them feeling confused and unsure.
Idealization and Devaluation
At the beginning of the relationship, they may view the victim as “ideal” or exceptional, then after the victim begins to depend on them or build an emotional bond, they begin to devalue or criticize the victim for no apparent reason. This creates an emotional dependency, as the victim often wishes to return to the “idealized” phase and seeks positive attention again.
Triangulation
NPD often uses a third person to create jealousy, insecurity, or confusion in the victim. For example, they may talk about how great others around them are or even use others to directly compare the victim. This triangulation adds to the victim's sense of uncertainty and control.
Making the Victim Feel Guilty
They often use the tactic of making the victim feel guilty for their actions or feelings, even if they have done nothing wrong. This can be manipulative techniques such as, “If you really cared about me, you would do this,” or “I've sacrificed so much for you, and this is what I get in return?” This makes the victim feel pressured to continue fulfilling the abuser's needs, even if it is to their detriment.
Using Tactical Decisions or Actions
NPDs often manipulate situations or take actions that appear harmless but are in fact meant to create tension, dependency or confusion in the victim. They may make promises that cannot be kept, or change their behavior abruptly to make the victim feel like they have to “fight” for attention or validation.
Exploiting Weaknesses
They are highly skilled at recognizing and exploiting the weaknesses or emotional needs of others. Once they understand what makes the victim feel vulnerable or anxious, they will use that information to manipulate or control the victim, such as exploiting the victim's fear, shame, or desire for acceptance.
Behavioral Cycles
Relationships with individuals who have NPD often move in cycles: they give overwhelming attention (love bombing), then withdraw it or show demeaning behavior (devaluation), and finally give little attention or affection (hoovering) to lure the victim back. This cycle can be very confusing and make the victim feel trapped.
Constant Criticism and Never Satisfaction
Once the victim begins to feel comfortable or dependent, the person with NPD will often constantly criticize them, even for small things, and is never satisfied with anything the victim does. This creates a deep sense of inadequacy and dependence on the abuser, who feels that they are the only one who can provide validation or rewards.
Exploiting Trust or Emotional Dependency
Since NPDs often have problems with empathy, they don't hesitate to capitalize on someone's trust or emotional dependence for their own purposes. If they feel that they can benefit from someone, they will continue to capitalize on the relationship, be it in the form of money, time, energy, or even attention.
The Story:
an unnamed woman, who was widely recognized for her beauty, intelligence and success. Every room she entered was filled with compliments, every decision she made was considered wise. She was a respected, successful executive, and her entire life was surrounded by luxury and attention. However, there is nothing more important to a woman than herself.
The woman has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). In her view, the world revolves only around her. She feels superior, smarter, more valuable than others, and only people who praise and admire her deserve a place in her life. He goes to great lengths to create a perfect image, and every little failure is an instant blow to his fragile ego. What others see, however, never really reflects what's inside him.
One evening, after an important meeting that ended with praise for her success, the woman returned to her luxurious home with ambiguous feelings. Outside, the evening breeze was softly blowing, but inside, a storm was brewing. Although she was constantly praised by her colleagues and respected by her subordinates, there was one voice that whispered more and more doubts in her mind.
“What will happen if they find out who you really are?” the voice sounded so clear, as if it was coming from inside her.
She ignored him, trying to compose herself. She sat in her study, staring into the large mirror on the wall. It reflected her face full of confident expressions, seemingly unmoved by the world. However, the longer he stared at himself, the more anxious he felt. He began to doubt everything he had built, questioning whether it was really all due to his abilities, or whether it was just an illusion he had created himself.
Her mind began to wander. “They praise me, but do they really respect me, or just fear me?” the questions swirled in her head. “If they knew how fragile I am, would they continue to praise me?”
As time passed, this fear became stronger and stronger. The woman felt threatened by the shadow of herself. She began to feel a tension she had never felt before-a feeling of being trapped in her own mind. She couldn't sleep, couldn't eat in peace. Everyone who admired her felt like an approaching threat. What if they started to see his weaknesses? What if they found out that he wasn't as strong as they thought?
That night, an unnamed woman ran into the study, opened her laptop, and checked the financial statements of the company she worked for. All the numbers showed success, but the thoughts in her head remained unsettled. “This could all come crashing down in an instant. They'll realize that I'm nothing more than a fraud.”
He started researching the track records of the people he had worked with. He recalled everyone he considered more successful, smarter, more respected than him. “They'll take over, and I'll be forgotten,” he thought. “All of this will be gone. Everything I built will be destroyed.”
This fear was getting bigger and bigger. The unnamed woman felt that with every passing second, she was losing control. Everyone around her was just a shadow, and she was increasingly isolated in her own world of thoughts. The harder she tried to maintain her self-image, the more fragile and helpless she felt inside. Although the world outside looked perfect, inside there was a slowly growing destruction.
The desire to control everything, to ensure that others still saw her with the utmost respect, kept her trapped in a vicious cycle. Her fear of losing control of her self-image grew stronger, and eventually, she began to feel that the only way to end it was to escape the world she had created for herself.
One night, after hours of brooding in oppressive silence, an unnamed woman stood by the balcony of her home, gazing out. The night sky seemed very dark, illuminated only by a few stars. Yet, in her heart, she felt empty and hollow. His thoughts raced endlessly, every second filled with crushing anxiety. Everything she had achieved felt meaningless, everyone who adored her felt distant.
With a heavy sigh, the woman stared at the abyss below the balcony-a way out of the unbearable chaos of her mind. “I've tried hard enough,” she muttered. “But I can't keep living like this. I'm tired.”
However, as she took a step forward, the voice suddenly returned to her mind, clearer than ever: “What are you afraid of, Beautiful? Nothing is more powerful than your own mind. You can overcome this. This is not the end, this is the beginning.”
But the voice was too late. The fear that had taken hold of her mind was too deep, and in the chaos, the woman lost her way. In an instant, she took a step further and fell, her body crumbling on the ground.
Her mind, which had been filled with anxiety, fear, and obsession with her self-image, eventually led to a tragic end. The woman did not die because of enemies or the failures of the outside world, but because her own mind had corrupted her. She died in the isolation she created, trapped in the curse that stemmed from her fear of losing her perfect image.
In the outside world, people would continue to praise him, but only he himself knew that his death was the result of his destructive mind. A curse that he himself created.
Narcissistic Supply:
For someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), narcissistic supply (or “narcissistic supply”) is the term used to describe any form of attention, recognition, admiration, or validation they need to maintain their fragile sense of self-worth. This supply is especially important to them because they have a high emotional dependency on others to feel valuable or “worthy.”
There are several types of supplies that a person with NPD craves, and they usually seek these supplies in very manipulative or destructive ways. Here are the types of supplies that are often needed by someone with NPD:
Admiration Supply
This is the most obvious and most important form of supply. Individuals with NPD often need constant attention and recognition from others to feel valued. They can be very sensitive to praise and admiration, and they will pursue this recognition, be it through physical appearance, achievements, or social status.
Example: They may be obsessed with how they appear on social media, often showing off their achievements or lifestyle to gain praise and attention.
Power and Control Supply
Individuals with NPD often feel the need to feel superior and powerful over others. They seek situations or relationships where they can be in complete control and dominate others to feel superior.
Example: They may manipulate people to follow their will or make decisions that benefit themselves, often without regard for the feelings or needs of others.
Emotional Dependence Supply
NPDs often seek out people who are emotionally dependent on them, such as partners or close friends, whom they can control or feel attached to. This gives them a sense of power and control in the relationship.
Example: They may seek out someone who is highly dependent on them for emotional support, and then they utilize that dependence to maintain control over the relationship.
Social Recognition and Status Supply
In addition to personal recognition, individuals with NPD strongly seek social status, influence, and public recognition. They want to be seen as important, powerful or successful individuals. They often pursue titles or positions that will give them a good social image.
Example: They may go to great lengths to demonstrate their social status, such as by pretending to be richer, more successful, or more honorable than they really are.
Self-Validation Supply
Because people with NPD have very fragile self-esteem, they often look to others to confirm or reinforce their beliefs about themselves. They need others to give them the feeling that they are really special or better than others.
Example: They may go to great lengths to force others to recognize their superiority, or even use others to affirm how important they are in a situation.
Jealousy and Tension Supply
Some individuals with NPD may feel the need to manipulate others to create feelings of jealousy, tension, or competition. This gives them the feeling that they are still the center of attention and maintains their sense of superiority.
Example: They could deliberately tease others or create conflict between people around them to keep themselves relevant and important in social situations.
Compliance and Self-Devaluation Supply
People with NPD often feel satisfied if they can make others feel worthless or intimidated. In this way, they feel superior and reinforce the belief that they deserve greater rewards.
Example: They may make others feel small or powerless, so that the victim feels that they should always submit to the abuser's wishes or give them excessive recognition.
Conflict and Drama Supply
For some people with NPD, even conflict or drama can be a form of supply. They may create situations or conflicts to attract attention and ensure that they remain the center of attention in a group or relationship.
Example: They could provoke an argument or fight just to see how others react, as this gives them the feeling that they are important and influential.
Devaluation and Humiliation Supply
After gaining admiration or attention, they often feel the need to demean or humiliate others in order to feel superior. In this way, they maintain a dominant position and feel powerful in the relationship.
Example: They may insult or humiliate a partner, friend or colleague to make them feel small and insignificant, while they feel bigger and stronger.
Achievement and Success Supply
NPDs rely heavily on their achievements and accomplishments to provide a sense of success and validation. They often look for ways to exaggerate their achievements to others in order to gain attention and admiration.
Example: They may always talk about their achievements at work or in their personal lives, and expect others to recognize their successes constantly.
Why is this supply so important to them?
Narcissistic supply is very important because people with NPD usually have very fragile self-esteem. Although they may appear confident or even arrogant, they are actually very dependent on recognition from others to maintain their sense of self-worth. When they don't get the supply they need, they can feel threatened, angry, or even down. This is why they are often very manipulative and controlling in relationships.
Things that an NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) dislikes/hates:
A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is very sensitive to things that can damage their self-image or undermine their self-esteem. Here are some of the things that an NPD strongly dislikes:
Criticism or Putdowns
People with NPD strongly dislike being criticized or put down. They feel that any form of criticism is an attack on their identity and superiority. Sharp criticism or rejection can make them feel very humiliated.
Exclusion or Abandonment
They are very afraid of abandonment or neglect, especially when they no longer get the attention or validation they need. Abandonment or withdrawal from the person they consider to be their source of supply can be devastating for them.
Defeated or Outclassed
NPDs strongly dislike being in an inferior position or losing at anything. They want to always feel superior and better than others. Losing or being compared to others can trigger great embarrassment or discomfort.
Challenges to Their Superiority
They want to be seen as the most important or most talented person, and any challenge to this view will be perceived as a threat. Trying to show that they are not better or smarter can trigger anger or humiliation.
Imperfection or Failure
Since their self-image is highly dependent on success and perfection, they dislike being seen as imperfect or a failure. Failure can undermine their sense of superiority, causing them to feel extremely insecure or anxious.
Ignored or Unnoticed
Because they rely heavily on external recognition, being overlooked or not getting the attention they want can make them feel unappreciated, which can lead to anger or a sense of abandonment.
Humiliated or Revealed Weaknesses
They try to maintain a strong and perfect image. Therefore, feeling humiliated or having their weaknesses exposed, especially in front of others, can greatly affect their sense of self-worth.
Loss of Control
NPDs love to feel in control of situations and people around them. Losing control in any situation, especially in relationships or work, can make them feel very anxious or threatened.
Feeling Unwanted or Unnecessary
When they feel unwanted or unappreciated, it can really shake up their fragile sense of self. They want to always feel important and needed by others.
Being Compared to Others or Called “Ordinary”
They strongly dislike being compared to others or being treated like an ordinary person. Being compared to others who they consider inferior is an insult to them.
Challenges to Their Social Media Image
Many NPDs are very obsessed with their image on social media. Criticism or negative comments on their appearance, status or lifestyle online can be very upsetting to them, and they may respond in a defensive or even aggressive manner.
NARCISSISTIC COLLAPSE:
Narcissistic collapse refers to the moment when a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) experiences an emotional or psychological crisis caused by a significant decrease in the narcissistic supply they receive, or a major failure in maintaining their self-image built on vanity and superiority. This collapse occurs when someone who normally relies heavily on external recognition to maintain their self-esteem feels “exposed” or “hurt” by a reality that contradicts their idealized view of themselves.
When the narcissistic supply they need suddenly disappears or no longer meets their expectations, or when someone faces a major failure that affects their image or status, a narcissistic collapse can occur.
Narcissistic collapse can vary in intensity and form, depending on how much damage is done to their self-image. Some common signs of this collapse are:
Humiliated and Hurt Feelings
A person with NPD is very sensitive to humiliation or criticism, especially when they feel that their image or status has been tarnished. When the narcissistic supply is gone, they can feel very humiliated and devastated.
Example: They may feel like they are being crushed by the criticism or rejection they receive, even if it is things that are trivial or not very important to others.
Narcissistic Rage
Narcissistic breakdowns are often accompanied by intense and uncontrollable anger. They may respond with violent verbal attacks, insults, or even aggressive physical behavior.
Example: They may lash out at people they hold responsible for their failures or who don't give them the attention they want.
Depression and Deep Disappointment
In some cases, narcissistic breakdowns can lead to feelings of deep depression or emotional emptiness. Without external recognition or a sense of superiority, they can feel empty, meaningless, or useless.
Example: They may feel worthless, directionless, or even feel that they have lost everything they thought was important, such as social status or relationships.
Feelings of Loss of Control
Because NPDs rely so heavily on control and influence over others and situations, this loss of control can be devastating. Narcissistic collapse can occur when they feel emotionally hurt or threatened by a situation they cannot control.
Example: They may feel like the world is crumbling around them, feel like they no longer have any power or control over their lives, and may attempt to restore their status in drastic ways.
Engaging in Avoidance Behaviors
Some people with NPD may choose to withdraw or isolate themselves after experiencing a narcissistic collapse. They may feel ashamed or unworthy of being around others, especially those who do not worship them or give them the attention they desire.
Example: They may withdraw from relationships or social situations, even if it means facing greater loneliness.
Loss of Interest in Self (Self-Object)
As part of the narcissistic collapse, individuals with NPD may begin to feel a loss of their sense of self-identity. They depend on others for validation and when that is gone, they can feel like they have no one or nothing.
Example: They can become very confused about who they really are without the attention or validation of others.
Hoovering
After a breakdown, someone with NPD may try to use manipulative tactics to regain the attention and supply they lost. This is often referred to as “hoovering,” where they try to get the victim back into the relationship with promises of change or by appealing to sympathy.
Example, they may try to seduce, threaten, or guilt the victim into giving them the attention or validation they crave.
Increased Need for New Supply
Because they are deprived of the narcissistic supply they need, they may seek validation from others, even if it means moving on to more accessible or weaker sources who can provide immediate attention.
Example: They may seek validation or attention from new people around them, even if it makes them appear inconsistent or fake.
Feelings of "Waste" or "Abandonment"
Because people with NPD are so dependent on attention and validation from others, losing a source of supply they depend on can leave them feeling very abandoned or abandoned.
Example: They may feel like the world no longer cares about them, or they may feel unwanted or unimportant.
Uncontrollable Fear
When someone with NPD loses control or feels threatened by feelings of emptiness or worthlessness, they may experience an uncontrollable fear of losing more attention or even losing their identity.
Example: They may exhibit excessive anxiety or an excessive fear of abandonment or being unappreciated.
Why Does Narcissistic Collapse Happen?
Narcissistic collapse generally occurs in two main situations:
Loss of Narcissistic Supply: When someone who normally provides attention, admiration, or validation stops providing that supply (e.g., a partner who becomes distant or a friend who no longer adores them).
Significant Failure: When they face a major failure or disruption in their life that threatens their status or self-image (e.g., failure at work, the end of an important relationship, or the exposure of weaknesses or deficiencies that do not conform to their ideal image).
Narcissistic collapse can also occur more often when someone with NPD is faced with a reality they cannot control or when they feel that their perfect or superior self-image is being shattered.
What Happens After a Narcissistic Collapse?
After experiencing a narcissistic collapse, an individual with NPD may attempt to:
Gaining New Supply: They will seek out others to give them the attention or recognition they are missing.
Destroying the Source of Supply: They may attempt to destroy or damage the relationship with the person who caused the breakdown in order to divert the shame or humiliation.
Fighting the World: They may become more aggressive or defensive, viewing the world as an enemy that does not value them.
Temporary Self-Change: In some cases, they may try to change in order to regain control or attention, although this often does not last long.
Dealing with a Narcissistic Collapse:
If you are interacting with someone who is going through a narcissistic collapse, it is important to maintain healthy boundaries and avoid getting caught up in manipulation. This is a very emotional time for them, and they may try to get your attention back in manipulative or destructive ways.
This drawing was made in ink on paper, using a pencil.
Sketch:
Outline:
This is all I can say for right now, sorry if there are any wrong words or my typing is not perfect.
Recently I got into trouble because I was in a relationship with a NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder). and after I realized that he only wanted to use me and make me his place/host. I immediately took quick action before it was too late to end the relationship and rebel against him.
Thank you for taking the time to just look at my work, and see you in my next work. 👽🖐