"Uranus was an ass. You will pardon the vulgar parlance, dear members of the Council, but there is no other way to describe this terrifying god of the people from the western lands. Born of Chaos, aye, Chaos no less. In his youth, he married fair Gaia, the earthy goddess, and together they became a divine couple. Ah, such innocent times. The titans, the cyclopes, and giants were born of this union. Such happy days.
"But the pear does not roll far from the branches from whence it fell, sirs and madams, nay, and so Chaos-born Uranus turned against his own offspring, for he feared their might, casting them deep into the bowels of earth, who was his own wife Gaia, and ye make of that what ye will.
"What to do with a wrathful misbehaving god? In the western lands they had a way of dealing with such heavenly troubles: castration. So it came to be that Uranus' son, Cronus, emasculated his own father, in an Oedipal act of retribution.
"It is said by some accounts that when the god’s enormous member fell into the sea, the most lovely and beauteous maiden emerged from the foamy waves. Aphrodite by name, daughter of Uranus, and by ancestral lineage, granddaughter of Chaos, the essence of mystic love.
"This is my account on the beliefs of dwellers in the western realms, dear council members, I thank thee for the opportunity to speak."
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