Hello everyone, I am thisnewgirl and I do pixelart, this is my blog where I show the step by step of my illustrations among other things !
This is a comeback after days without posting anything, really a bit forced....
the months that have passed have been full of drama in the country where I am but that's a story for another long and extensive blog...
What brings me back in fact is a less cheerful theme than the previous one, of all the things I expected this year without a doubt this was the one I expected the least... the most bitter and the saddest.
I usually make a living illustrating, however being a freelancer without a contract is to be adrift for a while... I usually have savings to survive in this period of time, in fact, it should be called an extreme sport, but i prefer it that way... in my country, you work 10 to 12 or 13 hours a day for 100$ a month ....
and 100$ a month is enough for food and utilities etc? the short answer is no...
Now... what if a relative is diagnosed with cervical cancer?
... yes exactly, how do I pay for the medical tests? how do I pay for the expensive medical consultations? how do I pay for the medicines? how do I pay for the food? how do I do all this without bringing all my savings to 0? how do I do it?
"savings are recoverable" with what ? 20 more years of my life ? full of work and living always paying just enough and saving pennies ? to at the end of the road get sick too and spend all my savings in a disease caused by a bad lifestyle ? for working every day without rest, for eating badly ? for living in a country where human rights stink of blood and shit ?
yes ... I don't think so...
I am not the one who is sick if you ask me, but my mother, the woman who took care of me for so many years, is... and beyond everything, this is my little space to not be strong and cry a lot, cry from sadness, cry from anger for being in a country that no one will ever really help.
I am TIRED of living on the edge, of living with the bare minimum, and anyone who says "my country is the same" should know that I don't care about their opinion at all, I don't care if it is the same worse or better or if an alien gave you three wishes, I don't care.
I care about where I am and the difficulties of now.... that's what matters to me.
My mother means the world to me.... she was diagnosed with cervical cancer, she is 51 years old... of which at least 12 years she had not gone to a gynecological consultation... for many reasons but the main one of them: she preferred to leave it for later because food comes first...
I am not me right now, I am, the girl who does pixelart who is angry at the world because family or at least the few people I consider my family are at risk....
and how did it all happen? how did this gynecological visit happen after 12 years ?
My mother's birthday was August 3rd ... which the night of August 2nd she was in bed with a lot of pain in the whole abdominal area, touching her abdominal skin even produced pain, moving pain, the pain was unbearable sharp, her description was: "I feel as if my organs were turning all over and made a knot between them".
... we didn't celebrate a happy birthday... the next day (Sunday) I took her to a medical consultation at a HAH they call themself "clinic" close to home (where the only thing they do is inject you with stuff and that's it) no operations or anything like that.
I paid 30$ for a medical consultation where they simply touched her and said "the pain is more in the pelvic area, go to a gynecologist". end....
I made an appointment for her even though she did not want me to spend money on it... she went to the medical appointment with the gynecologist, I waited outside, and when she came out the first thing I found was my mother, crying... as if the world had ended, and of course I did not understand anything, because I did not know what was happening, when she was calmer she explained to me that basically the pain she had is because she has all the uterus and cervix inflamed to a level .... bad, just bad, and that when the doctor checked her, he told her calmly and with all the possible tact that what she had was a cancer in the cervix...
since that day, i don't stop crying, i cry for my mother, i cry because i feel alone, i cry out of fear because in this country many cancer patients die because people don't have the financial strength to pay for the treatments whether they are natural or laboratory....
I cry out of anger, for not having a job that allows me to take care of my mother and my brother who has autism and down syndrome. I cry for many things and I continue crying but acting ...
i will try to draw, as often as i can, and this will be the way i ask the hive community to support me by simply liking or sharing... to at least be able to pay, whatever my mother needs... food or utilities...
Sorry if this post is not to everyone's liking.....
tomorrow I will pay for a biopsy for my mother, to know what exactly we are dealing with and what stage of cancer she is in ... it is $80.
but according to what I read on the internet, developing abdominal pain from cervical cancer in itself is really bad.....
In the next posts I will be talking about how the issue unfolds.
for now:
My commissions are open, you can write me here, on twitter, discord or ig.
I don't only do illustrations, I also do tarot readings which cost 50$ for a complete reading.
I am doing everything humanly possible not to throw my future away, to have food at home and take care of my brother and save my mother ...