A success? One could call it that and move on but this was something infinitely more; it transcended uninspiring and mundane words like success and achievement.
Such trivial, puny and inadequate words could never describe the triumphant victory over insurmountable odds* and as the feelings of glorious ascendency to the dizzying heights of near-god-like status revealed themselves it became clear such feats of endurance, courage and bravery should be hailed for the blinding brilliance they were.
It all started when I was doing some work at home. I'd pulled my work gloves off and placed them on the bull bar of my nearby truck so I could operate my mobile phone; little did I know that that small, almost careless, action would be the birth of a magnificent and epic journey of...umm...epic magnificence.
I completed the work, which I did magnificently and epically of course, (I am quite spectacular in the epic magnificence department), and jumped into my truck to drive it around (on public roads) to the other side of my property and its garage to put it to bed. I went inside, washed up and had a late lunch; it was Sunday and time to relax.
Later, I went out the front to close up my gates, secure the perimeter, turn on the search lights, let out the attack dogs and load the machine guns, and...what's that black thing on the road I see?
A dead bird?
A pair of my underpants that had managed to fall off and make a mad dash to freedom?
I walked over to investigate, even as I thrust a hand down my jeans and checked that I still indeed had my underpants on, and realised that the black item on the road was one of my work gloves. I instantly pieced together what had happened; I'd forgotten to pick them up off my bull bar when I'd driven my truck around to garage it. I bent down and picked up the glove.
I was cool, calm and collected about it.
Not really, I actually said, fucking fuckety fucken fuckballs! Then I said, what the fuckeroony! And finally said...well, I think you get the idea.
You see, my sharp, analytical epically magnificent mind had already processed the ramifications in nano-seconds; I'd left them on the bull bar when I moved the truck and the other glove had fallen off as well, somewhere on the way around to my garage entrance, and was lost forever. Fucking fuckety fuckballs indeed!
It wasn't about the cost of buying new ones, although I don't like wasting money and the gloves weren't cheap; it was that those fucken work gloves were my favourites and were perfectly worn in through loads of work and fitted like gloves - that last point was good because they were gloves. I could afford the twenty five dollars to replace them but I was thinking about all that fucken work I'd have to do to wear a new pair of work gloves in. For fuck sake!
Anyway, back to the story about glorious ascendency to the dizzying heights of near-god-like status.
I ended up throwing that glove I found on the road away in disgust, there was no point having only one work glove, and while still disgruntled at the sheer insolence of that pair of gloves for playing such a cruel joke on me I moved on with my life. Five days later I'd forgotten about those gloves, sort of, and life fell back into place.
But...
I was at work and had to head out to my truck to get a document I'd left in there that morning. I walked around to the passenger side knowing the document was on the passenger seat and...what did I see sitting on my bull bar just minding its own business?
That fucken insolent glove I thought I'd lost!
I stood looking at the miracle glove for a moment running through my mind where, how fast and how long my vehicle had travelled in the intervening five days marveling at the brilliance of that glove hanging on through thick and thin.
Despite part of me now regretting throwing away the other insolent fucken glove I'd found on the road five days earlier I had the presence of mind to acknowledge the triumphant victory over insurmountable odds this glove had achieved. It stayed sitting there on my bull bar, nestled between it and the headlight, that whole time? Well, they say miracles don't happen and I fucken agree, but triumph over adversity happens and my glove had clearly triumphed epically in...umm, epically triumphant ways, over adversity...quite triumphantly...and epically. It's mere existence proved that.
I hail thee mighty and resilient glove and thy epic and triumphant existence. I shall worship you forever.
But...
I picked it and held it fondly, almost lovingly for a moment...
and then i threw that fucken cunt in the bin because what use is one fucken glove...even if it had ascended to the dizzying heights of near-god-like status by way of it's endurance, courage and bravery.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
[Original and AI free]
Image(s) in this post are my own