Splooshed on my jeans

It happens when you least expect it; one second you're going great and the next moment, sploosh, there it is all over you, dripping into cracks and folds and seeping into places you'd rather not have that fluid seep. It's often warm, usually sticky, and yeah, it stains. It happens to me too, has happened more than once, and I'm sure it'll happen again. No matter how careful we are, splooshing is a fact of life. #splooshlife

I don't know how many times I've splooshed coffee, or some other beverage, in my lap or on my clothing when driving; you'd think I'd learn right? But no, despite previous sploosh-events and carefully planned and deployed #splooshmitigation techniques it still happens. I guess the answer is not to consume beverages like hot coffee and other drinks when driving, but sometimes one must through necessity; time-saving, coffee cravings, thirst, to swallow pills...there's many reasons people drink whilst driving even though it can cause premature #splooshjaculation.

I'm not even sure #splooshing is the right word for it to be honest. It sounds right though and I've used it for some time now.

People be like, "hey g-dog what happened to your shirt?"

I'm like, "I splooshed my fucken coffee on the way to work today." The person often grins evilly, offers a disparaging, you're a fucken retard g-dog, look, and sometimes there's a word of empathy. I've never had a sexy woman say, "come here, I'll take it off and put it in the wash for you," at the office...or have I?

Either way though, sploosh works right?

There's various sploosh-mitigation devices on the market, cups with lids for instance, and some are spectacularly successful in preventing splooshjaculation, however sometimes they're not used correctly and splooshing happens, or emergency braking of the vehicle causes the lid to be #sploosh-prevention-ineffective.

This very thing happened to me a couple days ago when I splooshed coffee on my jeans whilst driving home from an appointment.

Fortunately it wasn't pre-appointment, that would have been bad, but the splooshjaculation still messed up my plans, and I had to wander around for half the day with sploosh stains on my pants. I blamed the coffee cup of course, but if I'm totally honest it was my fault for not checking that the hottie at the coffee shop had put the lid on correctly; I was otherwise occupied with important matters - admiring said hottie - so I can only blame myself. #splooshownership

It wasn't the end of the world of course, but was super-inconvenient. Anywat, I thought I'd pose the question to you folks and see if you've ever splooshed on yourself, or if someone has splooshed on you. (That happens too you know.)

If you have, and want to share a splooshing story please do so in the comments below. Tell me about splooshing your coffee or other drink in your car, on yourself or splooshing it on someone else...or that time you were splooshed upon. There'll be no judgement you know, splooshing is a natural and human thing, we all sploosh. If it's a funny story that'll be great, but it's your comment so you can say what you like.