You walked in…
You walked in my life and walked the roads of life with me. First alone and free , after a while with my newly gained family. My kids saw you as aunt and I had a sister I never had before. We did life , we did loss. We did ups and we did downs. We did anniversary’s and we did weddings. We burried your dad and we helped eachother through the deteriorating of your mum. Bitter was the moment there was a change.
Cracks appeared without me seeing that and knowing why. Cracks can be repaired, or not?
Change is sometimes good and sometimes needed just never nice in a way that feels good. Same as life I guess. Calm in the chaos of life. The change in our dynamic came when you decided that , I learned you something and that I would be the one you took advantage off, and only to get ahead. To be better off ! At the expense of what was. What we had. It’s your life I could only watch, listen and accept this was your course in life.
It’s was a bittersweet moment but I needed to respect eventhough it was not my choice and I didn’t understand why. The way it happened neither. The WhatsApp of the message to the end I still have.
That all happened 10 months ago. A lot has happened since and all you would have been part off upclose. Not now….
But last week you send me a message. Out of the blue, a message that started with your nickname for me. Funny that I knew what was coming when my iPhone showed me the notification of the message and you see just a part of it. I knew it was you AND what you were gonna say. I always said I knew you best !
I was right. You miss me and is. You miss the family and friends dynamic. You suffered some losses and you have not a lot of people that understand you, who you are and where you come from. In your message also WhatsApp, you say you miss me and need me.
As I read it I must admitt the first thing I think off is that it’s all about you, again ! So my mind has to think about all that happened and the simplicity with what you made your decision in the beginning of this year almost 10 months ago. I think we can never go back, but will we be able to go forward ?
Why was it all about you in a on the surface equal friendship and will I be disappointed again. Will I be more invested and get hurt again. Do I need it , did I miss you as much as you miss and need me?
I don’t know, I just don’t know. Sometimes life has people that be with you a period or a part of life, maybe you were that for me before you decided to do you. Who knows? I don’t. I know that I am true to me and my lovedones and I can certainly image that you miss that commitment as it’s rare. But that’s maybe to late.
I will think about it some more.
I will let you know.
In person , WhatsApp is your thing not mine.
I will show me in person and say what’s needed.
Until we read again, thank you for stopping by its appreciated. Remember always focus on being creative instead of being bee-zy. Consistent Actions Create Consistent Hive Results. Not everyone is a blogger but everyone has something great to offer.
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