Eeeeeek!!! I almost quit reading at this point:

Most people don't gouge at their eyeballs like that. Like, full on, with your fingernail. Eye wide open

Glad I stayed with it.
LOVE this.

The boy had a wandering eye.
No. Not a wandering eye. A wandering eye would've been ok, plenty of people had wandering eyes. He had a glass eye. And a glass eye...that was definitely not ok. That was not even close to ok...

Reminds me of my mother-in-law, oh so casually narrating a recent incident at the Elks' Club. This guy drank too much and LOST HIS EYEBALL. His #1 fear was coming home without it, as they were scheduled for 50th wedding anniversary portraits the next day. I forget how the story ended. All I remember now is how cavalier this woman sounded, as if "Hey, I can't find my eye" is something you hear every day.