“OK, but, see, I don't get it. Why do people need a license to do something?”
Five-year-old Robert Edward Ludlow III was watching 16-year-old Tom Stepforth rejoice because at last he had his driver's license.
Six-year-old Grayson Ludlow, Lil' Robert's first cousin adopted as his brother by their grandparents, had the answer at their level.
“It's like blueprints,” he said as he pulled out his white crayons and blue construction paper. “Sometimes you gotta have a plan and show you know how to do something.”
“Driving is like building?” said Lil'' Robert.
“No,” Grayson said. “The building stands there when it's done right. The car moves. You gotta know even more stuff to drive.”
“Is this why Papa doesn't talk much when he drives in the city?” Lil' Robert said.
“Yep, because most people out here probably just used crayons and paper to draw a license and don't know what they are doing,” Grayson said. “Papa says he is a defensive driver, so, he is defending us with his skills.”
“Yep, that is right, because Papa has a ton of real licenses,” nine-year-old George said as he joined the conversation. “Papa can drive a car, a big bus, a big truck, a tank, and fly a helicopter.”
“Oh, wow – I wanna ride in all that!” Lil' Robert said.
“No, not really – the last two has folks shooting at you,” George said.
“Never mind,” Lil' Robert said.
“Yeah, traffic is bad enough already,” Grayson said. “Just the big trucks alone are sometimes too much.”
“Yeah – remember that time that this big truck driver got ticked off with Papa for whatever dumb thing but didn't know who he was dealing with?” George said.
“Yeah,” Lil' Robert and Grayson said.
“That was a wild situation, though,” ten-year-old Andrew said. “I mean, we didn't see it all, but I've looked it up since. I don't think there's ever been a truck and its driver that got a crook in their backs the same way on the same day before.”
Lil' Robert, Grayson, and George looked at each other.
“Because Papa,” Lil' Robert finally said.
“Yep,” George and Grayson said.
“Yep,” Andrew said. “You can drive an 18-wheeler if you want to, but maybe don't think that's going to protect you if you mess with Capt. Robert Edward 'Hell-to-Pay' Ludlow, because if you do … see, what Papa needs is warning signage so folks don't think they re dealing with a more fit version of Colonel Sanders who eats broiled instead of fried chicken.”
“No,” Grayson said. “What people need is to mind their own business and stop thinking they own the whole road.”
“Yeah, but y'all know ain't nobody doing that first part!” George said.
“You know, if Papa needs a peacetime nickname, it could just be 'The Finisher,'” eleven-year-old Eleanor Ludlow said as she joined the conversation. “I've never seen Papa start any mess with anyone, but boy, does he finish!”
“Yeah, that really works, like my biological grandfather found out – and see, this is why warning signage won't work, Andy,” ten-year-old Glendella Ludlow said as she joined the conversation. “Astor Ludlow my biological grandfather has known Upgrade Papa all his life, and still started mess and got destroyed. It's like you always see somebody reading the 'Keep Off the Grass' sign and going up there to walk on it anyway – it's like some people have a magnet attached that pulls them irresistibly to doing something stupid.”
“Yeah, basically some people want to see if they can – I forgot about that,” Andrew said. “Warning signage might get even more people and their vehicles put into traction – never mind. Back to the drawing board.”
“Here you go,” Grayson said, and gave his big brother white crayons and blue construction paper.
Capt. Robert Edward Ludlow Sr., aka “Hell-to-Pay,” newly aka “The Finisher,” walked through oblivious to the conversation just had about him because he was on the phone, and getting ready to go out of the house some distance so as not to have the little ones hear his deep, powerful voice when he was done dealing with the foolishness he was hearing. He did, however, say something in their earshot.
“Now, listen, my company would rather not have any trouble, but if yours does, my friendly advice is, just be sure you're ready.”
“Ooo,” Lil' Robert and George said.
“I don't like designing funeral homes, but, I feel like I need to,” Grayson said as he pulled over some more blue paper.
“That's already at like that C1 on the piano – that person is about to have their entire world blown out through the subwoofers,” said Andrew as he put his head in his hands.
“I'm just praying this person has enough sense to not get it so Upgrade Papa drops him off below A0!” Glendella said.
“Yeah, that's a good idea because sheesh!” Eleanor said. “Who needs the infra-bass drama!”
“But sometimes people need it,” Grayson said. “They keep messing with folks until they meet someone that teaches them why you don't do that. That's why God made Papa.”
Capt. Ludlow stopped on the porch, and then turned around and walked back, still talking, but his voice in a safer range for everyone in earshot.
“That's what I was waiting for you to understand. Trying to bluff me when all we have to do is come to an understanding was not even necessary, to say nothing of dangerously unwise. We can be so much better working together than not. We are not even competition to each other, so why have me act like I thought you were? Why can't we just prosper together?”
There was a pause, and then the little ones saw their (grand)father begin to smile.
“Yes, I know men like us usually don't think like that, and instead get scared and act foolish. But we are mature men of intelligence now; there is no need for us to revert to destructive behavior when there is money and legacy to be made. Let's keep our grandchildren's future in mind, too.”
He dazzled his own in the room with his full smile before walking on, and they stared at his back in astonishment as he went.
“Whoever that was figured it out!” George said.
“And there is a Father even bigger than Papa, and He heard us,” Glendella said as she and Andrew slumped into each other from relief.
“Another entire career, spared,” Eleanor said. “'The Finisher' finished kindly today, with God's help.”
“God is good, although people sometimes really aren't,” Grayson said.
“Well, yeah!” Lil' Robert said.