Capt. R.E. Ludlow was having a good laugh at being rushed off the phone with his cousin Col. H.F. Lee by five-year-old R.E. Ludlow III, who had just busted in and grabbed his grandfather's hand and said, “Papa, you already know what time it is! Gotta control our screen time – come on!”
The captain kept breaking out laughing at different points all day because he knew his baby grandson, also known as Lil' Robert, had been listening attentively when his grandfather had been talking with ten-year-old Glendella Ludlow the other day about some strange behavior from another Ludlow cousin.
“See, after Cousin Narcissus's third wife left, he got depressed and so started looking for a mail-order bride – coulda been Amazon, of course, by now, because you know modernity and all that – but, anyway, Papa, they found him in his house with his phone connected to the charger and just scrolling through all these women at about 500 pounds – just scrolling and eating, eating and scrolling for a year. It was then that I realized phone addiction is real.”
“Among other addictions,” Capt. Ludlow said as he resisted the urge to put his head in his hands. “But, we will pray for Cousin Narcissus, and remember that we need to control our own screen time so we can eat right and exercise and build our relationships properly. I will tell you this, Glennie: I lost one wife, and I can't imagine losing Good Grandma and surviving. I get why our cousin got so depressed. But, see, the habits you build before the crisis are what you take into the crisis, so we have to be disciplined now.”
Lil' Robert had listened, so when it was time for exercise, of course he went to get his grandfather off the phone and ready for their regular workout.
“The thing about Rob,” Glendella said later that same morning, “is that he understands and applies as much as he can about everything. The problem is, he's five, but, we love him for who he is right now, and we love him a whole lot, because in the wrong house, he would have been slapped into next week.”
“Listen,” eleven-year-old Eleanor Ludlow said, “we thank God everyday that we are all here with our grandparents, but you really do need to be Robert Edward Ludlow Sr. to raise Robert Edward Ludlow III. That was never going to work out for Robert Edward Ludlow Jr. – and that was Rob's, Edwina's, and my biological dad and I hate to say that, but Papa has always been our real dad and Grandma our real mom.”
“Yep, and really, mine too,” Glendella said. “It just look me a little longer to get here.”
“Well, we've only been here about two years,” Eleanor said. “You were still on time, Glendella.”
“Yeah,” Glendella said as she handed Eleanor a hula hoop. “Guess we should get it in too before Rob has to come back over here and drag us off to do our exercise.”
“Yep,” Eleanor said.