Mrs. Slocum-Lofton was deeply affected by her apple-picking morning, it being the first time since her grandson's small childhood that she had spent an hour doing anything “fun” and giving with him.
He would be 46 in January 2020.
“God had to let me live this long and get this old before I could do right by that boy!” she said, still in tears when discussing it later. “I'm just overwhelmed by my own native depravity!”
“Well, blessed are they that mourn,” Mr. Worley said as he gently held her, “for they shall be comforted. That's what that verse is about, Selene. Most of us – especially in our class of people – don't really get a sense of our personal depravity and what the Lord has saved and is saving us from. Owing to our being rich, most people would call us successful at everything we do, but when we look back and see what good was, how equipped we were for it, and how little we did, our native depravity can become hurtfully real to us.”
“I was such a terrible person!” she said. “Just terrible to Henry … he was just a little baby when he was orphaned, and I just hated him because I felt that it was all his father's fault that my daughter was killed, and that he never wanted anything but that son of his to inherit … but Henry was such a beautiful little child. His Lee grandparents would send me pictures. I ignored them!”
“You were such a terrible person, but God let you live this long and get this old to do right, in Christ, and now you can, and Henry, because he is in Christ, has forgiven you and will let you and welcomes it.”
“He needed that too,” she said. “He told me what I did today he never missed because his Lee grandparents did all those things, but it meant the world coming from me, because it showed how God had changed us both.”
“Right,” Mr. Worley said. “We're all native Depravites, my dear. Later on, after I get you down the isle first, do I have some stories for –.”
Mrs. Selene Slocum-Lofton showed off her good health by leaping out of his arms.
“Now wait a minute! I just had to legally do in Robert Lee Braxton! Don't think for a minute that I am putting up with any nonsense from a beau!”
But she was already laughing because he was already laughing.
“You know I like to see how frisky you are, and to get you laughing,” he said. “No, my stuff won't seem bad when you compare it to your stuff and definitely not with Mr. Braxton's stuff, but hey: God ain't about comparison. My stuff was bad because it was evil in His sight, and I knew better. We both have lived to get old for the same reason; in Christ we can do right, and we've got however long He's given us to do that. We can't change the past, but we can face it, look at the patterns, and stop repeating them.”
Mr. Worley took a deep breath, and went off in a different direction – he hadn't know how he was going to broach the subject, but, now was as good a time as any.
“You know, I was thinking,” he said. “Our grandson seems to be getting really good results from his therapy and group sessions at VA in terms of dealing with PTSD stuff and old patterning. I'm a Vietnam vet myself, and although I have never made use of the services in Roanoke, I was thinking that because of that and because the circumstances around my first wife's death were so hard for me, I might have some bad patterning to deal with before we are married. I was going to look into that this week, and I was wondering if you might be interested in joining me.”
Mrs. Selene Slocum-Lofton sat back down and started crying all over again.
“That was so sweet how you did that!” she said. “I'm the one that's a mess, not you!”
“And like I said earlier, there's some stuff you don't know about yet, Selene. I think we could both invest in some counseling – maybe VA isn't quite right for you, but maybe we can talk with Rev. Gordon and Rev. Baxter.”
He offered her his handerkerchief, and after she had composed herself and dried her face, she snuggled back into his embrace.
“See, this is why I'm going to end up being Mrs. Worley after all,” she said, and kissed his chin. “You held me through my realizing I was a sinner and becoming a Christian. You held me before and after I had to do the big open repentance up on Cedar Court. Good things are always happening that I need when I'm right here … and I hope God will make it so I can make good things happen for you. I'm trying!”
“Woman, look, first of all, you're right here – at 75, the fact that happened at all is a good thing for a man! Second of all, do you know how much those investments you told me about in October are paying? Third of all, the girls who are in the mentorship programs I fund love you – a lot of them didn't have grandmothers they can talk to about being successful as a wife and mother in addition to talking cold, hard business truth. All right, you failed Henry when he was young, but you surely aren't failing a bunch of Henriettas!
“And see, I'm not one of those men that can enjoy life as much without a companion. It's been hard, Selene, really hard. See, you think I rescued you, but really, my love, you rescued me too. I get up every day and just say, 'Lord, make me worthy to keep Selene – I have to get myself all the way together today, and I can't do it without You.' ”
“We're praying the same prayers about each other,” the future second Mrs. Worley said, and then started crying all over again, but this time, from joy.
A couple of sweet kisses – “I'm getting the rest of that January 31!” Mr. Worley declared – and then both got off his couch.
“So what are we going to get into today, after talking with the good reverends?” Mrs. Slocum-Lofton said.
“Oh, Selene, there's so much stuff to get into at this time of year!” Mr. Worley said. “I need to get into about an hour or two's worth of a nap before getting on the road again, but gee whiz, woman, you've just handed us a blank check, and you know what happens with blank checks! Those suckers will be filled out every which way!”
“Every which way but loose, as Henry is always saying!” his grandmother cried with a laugh.
“Exactly!”
The fractal was created by the author, Deeann D. Mathews