Lola sat on her bed. The soft paper played on her fingertips as she mumbled the letters to herself, then the numbers. She rehearsed it again and again. They had to make sense.
The sun had been down for hours, the starry night shown from her bedroom window. She crawled up to her pillows and unburied Kyle’s t-shirt, and inhaled deeply. It barely smelled like him anymore.
She thought back to her conversation with her mom. How had it gone so wrong?
”Lola, I don’t like that he left a letter behind for you to find,” she said.
Lola had looked at her so confused.
”You need to move forward. Not backwards. Bryon should have known better than to bring that into our home.”
“He hadn’t known what was in it,” Lola said the words stumbling loosely from her lips. “And you can’t honestly believe that I shouldn’t have what he left for me…can you?”
”All I know, is that we are here picking up the pieces daily, and something like that can just ruin everything.”
Lola left immediately. She couldn’t believe that her own mother couldn’t understand, and it broke her heart that she had been so close to revealing more of the truth.
She sat there now, looking out her window at the quadrillion stars, snuggling the t-shirt close to her chest.
A quiet knocking at her window pane made her jump and scream, but as her eyes focused on the shadows, she saw a figure hunched in the bushes.
“Mark?” she said opening the window. “What are you doing?”
“Sorry to scare you,” he said. “I had this feeling it was too late to come to the door.”
“You have my number,” she said. “Why didn’t you just call?”
His face broke into a smile. “I don’t know,” he laughed under his breath. “Can I come in?”
Lola opened the window all the way. He ducked in and climbed over the sill, and stood awkwardly for a moment.
“You look like you did when you used to sneak into my room,” she laughed at the memory. “Except your hair was more shaggy and you couldn't grow a beard yet," she smiled. "But that was a long time ago though…” She watched his gaze as it lowered to the dark blue shirt she was holding. “It brings me comfort,” she shrugged.
“Was that Kyle’s?” he asked. She nodded.
“So, why are you here?”
Mark looked from the shirt back to her face, and down to the shirt again.
He took a deep breath, determination crossed over his face, then without another hesitation, he lowered his face to hers. Their lips met, warm and sweet, but Lola stood frozen, clutching the blue cotton in her fist. Warm tingles climbed up her spine, as Mark’s hands moved to hold either side of her face. He held her there for a single breath, then broke away.
Staying only inches from her face, he said. “That. I came for that.”
Lola’s lips met Mark’s again, an urgency filled her chest as she inhaled his scent. She knew it. She had it before, and she needed it so badly. Her free hand entangled itself in the strands of his hair. Mark’s hands dropped from her face, and he pulled her tight into his chest.
“Mark,” Lola whispered.
“I know…”
“I just need…” she said.
“Let it be,” he said. “Just for a moment.”
She tilted her head up to meet his gaze. His dark gray eyes, so intent staring back into hers.
“I’ve always loved you,” he said.
Lola’s breath tightened in her chest. A sudden flutter in her womb broke her thoughts.
“The baby moved,” she said quietly. His hand moved to her belly, and he smiled.
“I think that that’s beautiful,” he said. “The baby…I...I thought you were before beautiful before, but now I know it’s nothing compared to now.” He kissed her forehead, and took a step to sit on the edge of the bed.
He chuckled to himself. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “You can’t meet me where I am. I know that. I just couldn’t go another second being so close to you without you knowing. That’s why I was gone all those months, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my distance,” he laughed again. “And I was right!”
Lola sat next to him, and piled the shirt into her lap.
“My favorite time of the day is morning. I don’t know if you knew that. I love the way the dew sparkles on the grass blades,” she said. “It feels like something magical happens fresh and new when the sun comes up. I can’t look at it anymore though. At least I haven’t been. All the magic is gone.” A tear ran down her cheek. She wiped it away. “But I just…I can’t…” she tried. “I need…” she broke off again.
“You need way more than I can give you. It’s not lost on me that I was the second choice. But I’m here.”
Lola rested her head on his shoulder as a calmness ran over her. And for the first time in months her body relaxed and her thoughts centered.
“I get it!” she jumped up suddenly. “The initials, it’s a bank! We used to bank at this little place in town. Bank of Edwardsville/Alton Center. It was a mouthful…we eventually switched. But that might be it. It fits, I mean, BE/AC? Right?”
Mark nodded. “That would definitely work. Then the numbers?” he asked. “Well, could it be a safe deposit box?”
Lola laid her head on her pillow. Her eyes ached to shut, but her mind reeled with possibilities.
Was she right? If the numbers matched a safety deposit box, and then what could be inside?
Her mind circled back to Mark moments before he left. His eyes still held a pain she didn’t understand. He had squeezed her hand, kissed her on the cheek, then made his way back out the window.
Now she laid in bed, surprised how little she hated herself. If she were being honest, she felt relieved, and maybe now, real answers were finally on their way. Maybe this was a brand new start to something huge. Out of all her questioning, she knew one thing was for certain, she was more than determined to find out what had happened to Kyle.
But she remembered that Mark had posed a question that everything now rested on. If there was a safety deposit box, where was the key?
She threw an arm over her face, and sighed. She was going to have to think back and search everything. Anything that could have held meaning or sort of clue.
Would she have to go back to her house? She wondered. Had he left it somewhere near where the note had been, assuming she would have understood quicker?
Her baby girl moved around inside of her again. Would she ever get used to that? Her hand naturally floated to her once skinny belly, and wished she could feel her kicks on the outside too. Kyle would’ve wanted to feel it, she thought. But would Mark ever want that?
“Ughhhh,” she cried out and rolled to her side, smooshing the pillows with her fists.
As she toiled over her blankets, her cell vibrated up on the nightstand.
I was thinking we should meet at your house tomorrow morning, say 8? I have an idea.
She texted Mark back quickly. “I’ll be there.”
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If you would like to check out the story from the beginning you can find the previous chapters here!
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Much love,
Stacie D
