I believe in this country, there is a specific age while growing up that everyone always has a plan in their lives. Our father might want us to study what he also studied in school. Mothers, too, might also want their kids to study nursing. The sister might also say she has a connection. The church pastor might say God revealed something to him. In a situation like that, that individual is like a company, and everyone has a share in that.
I had an interaction with one of my mates back then. He told me he spent his life moving to other people's read. He was never a weak guy. He was just trying not to step on toes from his family's side. I don't think there is any word for such pressure because, from what I know. One or two Nigerians have similar experiences, and some are still under the weight.
He told me then that he decided to make a quiet decision overnight without the help of anyone. That the shift just happened and he had to deal with the consequences alone.
Though I didn't have to pass through that decision because my parents never questioned my choice of study. But to me, after he told me that. I felt deep down in me that he finally understood what ownership means. Not power. Not freedom in any funny way. Just something very quiet in a way that he chose what came next, and he's responsible for his actions. He has no one to blame or give the credit to.
In my personal take, I feel deciding to take ownership of one's life doesn't necessarily mean that the person has to wear a crown. Because it just feels like standing in an empty house and knowing that where to put the furniture and other things is entirely my problem now. And that is the feeling they never warned us about because they were busy making one or two plans in our lives.
Thank you for reading.
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