Remember the solemn night when you and I ate on the balcony of the apartment. Beautiful nights, we often see stars staring at the dark sky.
And that night we talked about the future.
"Look," you say, pointing to a man in the apartment across from the one who appears to be holding a baby. The apartment is clearly visible because it is not closed curtains.
"He should close the mirror room so that it can't be seen. His activities can be watched by others,"
I agree with your opinion. The thing is he looks silly by only wearing shorts without covering the top. Even though he is fat and has a distended stomach. The baby is lying on the couch, while he goes into the kitchen to drink from a bottle.
Yes, you really don't like it when your private life is seen by others. Especially if a husband and wife are making out, it will be a free spectacle.
"We'll move out later, find a better apartment," you said firmly.
"Oh, yeah. Look for something strategic, close to the station or bus stop," I said. You nod and smile.
In this district I am indeed uncomfortable because it is a bit far from downtown Istanbul. While I like to travel when he is working.
We have passed the feast like other communities. Neighboring guests visited each other. Their children are so happy to get candy and chocolate.
Suddenly I got news from my homeland, I had to go home. You look unhappy, silent in the middle of dinner.
"There are things I have to finish," I said quietly.
You avert your eyes from me, staring far into the sky.
"I'm not calm if you go home," you said softly.
"I'll be right back when it's over. You don't need to worry."
You stare in disbelief, "Anything can happen. I feel uneasy,"
I hold your hand. "Don't we have a future plan that must be realized?"
Even though you finally agreed to my return, I know you are not sincere. Your gaze was blank when you let me go at the airport.
Days passed by busy in the homeland. Family and work matters are very time-consuming. And for some reason, all issues such as lambing so that it never ends.
I am sad when I read your message asking when I will return. You can't stand being homesick, longing to be united.
Forgive me lover, I have not been able to fulfill the promise to return. It turns out I was stuck in a vortex without end.
"Did you meet your ex-boyfriend to forget me?" Once you accuse angrily.
"Oh no dear. I really handle very complicated matters," I tried to explain.
But you're sad. I feel your anxiety every night. My chest beats fast every time I think of you. Maybe this is called telepathy, when two souls in a strong inner bond, will feel what their partner feels.
Day by day, week by week, month by month, then year changes. You start sending messages rarely. Looks like you are getting desperate expecting me to come back.
My heart is cut into pieces. My dear, I didn't mean to break a promise. There is one thing that I cannot tell you, which is very tormenting me.
But I never forget to pray for you. I want God to always take care of you, even though I'm not by your side.
So one night, I saw you crying by the beach, where we used to enjoy the coming of dusk. I want to hug you, but I can't.
I'm sorry dear, apparently I could not return as I promised before. A few nights ago, a big tall figure came to me while I was praying the midnight prayer and praying for you. He picked me up.
Since then I knew I could not return to you. I was taken to a strange place. My body is now buried in a dingy, cold burrow.