I planned to keep all of it away from him, I just have to keep it all to myself until I am successful with my plans. Unfortunately, he learned that I would be going to the office of the counselor today, without thinking, he insisted that I won't go anywhere. For some reason he followed me to where I went this morning, I was hoping to go to the office of the DSVRT, however, it didn't work out as I planned. I had assumed that he would leave for work but he didn't.
He walked and met with my sister and was filling her up with things that weren't true, most of them were exaggerations, I wasn't close to where they stood so I could barely hear them.
At this point, I have to keep calm and wait till tomorrow. I hope that he goes out to work so that I can go where I plan to go. Letting him know my plans when they are yet to be executed would only resort to unnecessary dramas that would like cause more damage.
Everyone keeps saying, "it's all in your hands, there is nothing we can do but only talk". They are right, they've done their best all through the past years.
Today, I've been thinking about the kind of love I feel which has made me stay put.
We should not let the negativity of a toxic person take up all of our brain space, there's a need for one to focus on their needs for once! It doesn't mean that one is being selfish, especially in a situation where you have to make the most effort trying to make something work.
If you've found yourself with a toxic person then you would understand the feeling of intimidation, whereby they make themselves feel superior by criticizing you, they feel that they are always right even when they've erred, they find it difficult to realize that they are gone and they aren't always remorseful.
There's no doubt in the fact that the best thing that comes with losing a toxic person opens one to opportunities to replace them with better ones. The truth is that there are people who will appreciate the love and support that they have been given. A toxic person would make you feel unhappy about life generally, they would make you angry and unenergetic, and these things are not so good for one's mental wellbeing.
What would my life be like without a toxic person? I would be happy, I would feel alive, I wouldn't feel controlled, I would think straight, I wouldn't always be confused and be faced with embarrassing situations.
Unfortunately, one keeps holding on to a toxic person because of the false sense of validation which makes one feel as if they are needed and wanted.
Indeed, staying away from a toxic person is a win-win situation, because toxic people drain the joy from our lives. It’s not worth it to keep them around, it's not worth it at all.