A very old man walked into cafe today. One of those where you are a little surprised that people of this age still go to cafes. For a moment, there is even a doubt as to why he came here, because for a person of his generation, paying 3 euros for a coffee seems crazy, and that tourist backpack studded with butterflies does not indicate some kind of wealth.
He didn't order coffee right away; he tried to maintain a conversation with the barista for a while. I listened to how he tames comfort in a foreign environment and at the same time tries to make a joke out of this foreignness - "And I can sit here, yes, he he?” Little by little, the impression that he did not belong in this environment, that he was somehow stranger here - the first sign was his very old age, then the confusion when he had to pick up the coffee after walking a little further from the barista.
"You can pick up the coffee".
"Oh, the coffee is already made?" How fast!".
The third sign was his speech
"What about sugar? Where can I find sugar? There are so many pipettes, but nothing is written on them, I can't understand what is where, can you help?"
"Oh, brown sugar, okay, it's healthy. You see, I'm here for the first time, so I don't know where it is yet. That's why I had to open my mouth. You know, as they say, learn a word, there will be a way. Do you know this saying?"
Do you know this saying? - I guess that the barista, like me, last heard such sayings, proverbs and winged phrases in elementary school, during the Lithuanian language lesson, when the teacher asked the children to comment on what such proverbs mean.
I think these sayings remained at that time. They are rarely told today, no longer so capacious, no longer about us. It’s a cultural sign, a sign of time, marking the differences between our time and the other.
The barista remained speechless, her eyes were down, her lips were pursed, there was indifference in the air and some 50 years separating the interlocutors in time and space. When he sits down, I notice that he is the only person who is not looking at a phone or computer screen, but through a shop window. This is another distinguishing cultural marker that separates my time from his.
After such as he is, this experience will disappear, that's all.
My dad died ten years ago. When my dad's time was up, I didn't think about the lost moments of the future, - no, I thought about the lost moments of the present. About how in an instant the present time became the past, how the flow of time changed and the language changed - no longer "my dad is", but "my dad used to be".
Thus, in an instant, my dad went from being a character in the present to a resident of my memories. That's how everything that was experienced together became locked, preserved in the past - it won't change anymore. No way, no new action or word will ever change what was.
From now on, my dad belongs to the past - nothing new will happen to him anymore. He already had everything.
I was feeling both depressed and calmed by the presence of the old man nearby, by that quiet sip of coffee.
He reminds me what a lonely, isolating experience old age is. Why is he the only person of that age in the entire cafe? Why do I so rarely meet people his age?
I felt guilty. I felt guilty that the barista doesn't talk to this older customer, even though he wanted to talk.
I felt guilty when an elderly person who enters cafe found nothing of his own, nothing recognizable here - everything is so innovative, so foreign, and so repulsive.
I felt guilty because I know one day I will be in his place. The day will come when I will desperately want to experience something else - one more cup of coffee, one more conversation - wait, why are you leaving, I still have something to say, listen to me, I'm still here! - but on that day someone will turn away from me, close his eyes, and silence will shout: you have no place here. You have already had everything.
I had no choice but just to take my coffee and sit in front of this old man.
"Hi. How's the coffee?"
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Thank you for reading. You are always welcome to check my posts.
All photos are original.
"Do what is right, mot what is easy nor what is popular" - R. T. BENNETH.
