You never can tell the kind of pain and agony you’ll feel until you meet people who seem like they were meant for you—only to discover they were backstabbers all along.
I know some of you can relate. You’ve worn those same shoes.
Being kind to people—even loving them—is a risk. Yes, a big risk. Because kindness takes commitment. And love, even more so. And when you commit, you want to be sure it’s to something—or someone—worthwhile.
What triggered my thoughts on this subject was a post I stumbled upon on a social media.
When I read it, I quickly could relate with the post because it was the same thing I was going through as at the time I stumbled upon that post.
Earlier this week, I had an experience. I won’t bore you with the details—nothing particularly dramatic happened—but here’s the gist:
I belong to a humanitarian and community-based organization. Every Wednesday, we go out for community development service. It’s meaningful work, and there are rules. If you miss a Wednesday, you get penalized. And the only way to prove you were present is by signing in.
That week, I couldn't arrive on time. But I tried. I dropped my personal plans just to make it.
What I didn’t know was that some people in the group had secretly conspired to make sure I wouldn’t be able to sign. They hurried through the activities, wrapped up everything before I got there, and by the time I arrived at the venue, it was all over.
I pleaded with the leader in charge. I even asked for a make-up activity. Nothing worked.
After some pressure from me—and others—the truth finally came out.
The leader confessed that some people had pressured him to go along with the scheme.
To my greatest shock, it was one of my closest and most trusted colleagues who spearheaded it all.
Did I feel bad?
Oh yes, I did.
Hearing everything sent me into a long, sober, reflective moment.
These were the very people I called friends—the same ones I had poured time, energy, and trust into—and yet they were the ones who went behind my back.
Was it painful? Of course, it was.
But not because I couldn’t handle the situation. And not because I was afraid of the consequences.
It hurt because it came from those I’d invested so much kindness in. People I chose to trust. People I genuinely tried to help and walk with.
That’s when I came to a conclusion that...
Being kind is a battle. A quiet, personal one.
Some people win that battle easily. They’re naturally kind.
Others have to fight through hurt, betrayal, and doubt before they get there.
And sadly, some just never win it.
I had to make peace with this. I had to decide—intentionally—that other people’s negative attitudes or actions wouldn’t stop me from being who I want to be.
My kindness is not all about them. It’s about the person I’m becoming.
And that’s a journey I’m not willing to give up on.
So, in conclusion:
Being kind to some people is hard.
Sometimes, it feels like fighting a losing battle.
But in the end—winning that battle is a choice.
And I’ve made mine.