“Failure isn’t so bad if it doesn’t attack the heart.
Success is all right if it doesn’t go to the head.”
— Grantland Rice
The subject of failure is one of the most crucial and most pondered subjects in the history of humanity. Many times, we are defined by our failures—and some of those definitions are made by us, upon ourselves.
Personally, I don’t like to talk about failure without first looking at my reference point. It is my reference point that determines whether I am a failure or not.
It is very dangerous to talk about failure, especially in life, without bringing a reference point into consideration.
“Oh… I have failed; I’m a failure…”
But my question to you is: what is your basis?
There is a standpoint—this is where you are right now—and there is a reference point—this is where you are headed. In between these two lies a whole lot of episodes.
Show me where you stand today (your standpoint) and where you are headed (your reference point), and I’ll tell you whether you are utterly a failure or simply someone experiencing one of those “failing forward” moments.
“If you’ve failed, are you then a failure?”
No one can erase the possibility of failure.
Some motivational speakers may say, “If the possibility of failure were erased, what would you attempt to achieve?”
Growing up—and even now—I realize that no one can erase the possibility of failure. I strongly believe that, and I know you do too.
We all know that failures often come as a result of errors in choices. Meaning, if we were to break failure down to a molecular level, we would discover that failure is a product of wrong choices.
Now I wonder whether I should believe all those motivational speakers who preach strategies and provide philosophical formulas for making the right choices.
If we had perfect formulas, there would be no wrong choices. And if there were no wrong choices, there would be no failure. This, however, is totally impossible and practically impracticable.
While I am not of the opinion that we should make mistakes simply because they are inevitable, I believe they can be drastically minimized and limited to the non-consequential areas of our lives.
I believe a better version of this question—
“If the possibility of failure were erased, what would you attempt to achieve?”
—should be:
“If your perception of and response to failure were changed, what would you attempt to achieve?”
If we can learn to always fail forward, then we will not be failures in the long run.
So, in conclusion, if you’ve failed and have lost your bearing—that which leads you to your reference point—then I’m afraid such a person is becoming an utter failure, if not already one.
But if, in our failing, we never lose sight of our reference point and instead convert those failures into failing forward, then I can assure you: you aren’t a failure—you’re just passing through.