Mom and uncle recently returned from cemetery and mom pestered me constantly to talk about a game I play, even though I was sure it would neither be interesting, nor important to my uncle. I got up and showered. Got dressed and went out as it was already less than an hour before closing time. I went with doubt in my mind but certainty in my action. I stood behind door listening to buzzing sounds, waited bit back and forth till they ceased...
Though they totally didn’t and I waited behind another door until a man started climbing up the stairs, so I quickly put together what courage I had, opened the door and asked whether they’re still working. It was a small, secluded barber shop without a name of sorts. You had to open multiple doors and go through hallways not maintained since the B era just to get there and since it is a provincial settlement, I didn’t expect what was about to happen. One of the barbers was busy with an older client, meanwhile she immediately asked me for that segregationist pass… I looked over to my pocket, but I only had my wallet, so I said I forgot and she told me to go get it quickly. It was a remote, tucked-away from the world barber shop who only some older guys even knew of… it was Saturday, a day they closed earlier and it was near closing time already. She clearly was without work for quite a while as I stood outside and didn’t see anyone coming in.
That man who came up.. I don’t think he came there, as I left I didn’t see him coming at all. Surely she could’ve relented, considering it was also well over a month since the apartheid began. But her steely words were as certain as the sun rising every morning. I was surprised and left in a hurry, running up to a corner, then walking into a park, dwelling in philosophical thought. I always knew our people acquiesce to everything. But are they really so terrified to even slightly sidestep the rules? Even when they actually lose money with such behavior? I’ve thought a lot of things.. Like.. do businesses even operate for profit or only to cater to governments will? In that moment in thought, to me she was worse than those guys who manufactured zyklon-b for the gas chambers. At least they believed in profit. She… believed in government’s unwavering tyranny. “More freedom” they screeched to win the election, only to take it all away in their misguided campaigns. How can a simple woman be so… I don’t know.. was she always that cautious or maybe it was because her coworker was present and the other man? Did that A4 printed paper hanging behind the door was holier to her than the ten commandments? “Thou shall not serve customers without government QR code”! bah. What has the world come down to.. Moreover they recently came up with 30 sq meters rule per person for small essential food shop..
I mean I get it, they’re public and probably checked. But this… this I did not anticipate, even though I was ready for it.. moving forward I came across the black swans in a pond not too far away from the park. Their sounds as they swam near me.. I’m not sure what they were saying to me. I’ve seen multiple ducks in the background, going after the feed placed for the swans. Alright, I’ve crossed the road into manor grounds.. Thinking ever deeper of all society came down to. We’re probably the most subservient people in universe. Slaves singing about the horrifying nights of slavery of others. Pathetic. I’ve seen some deers, one desperately trying to push his antlers against a thick wooden branch. I think he was trying to get them off.. They’ve grown too big and were hurting him maybe? I wasn’t so sure. But his behavior contradicted that of the barber woman. She would rather hurt her bottom-line, her own welfare, only to protect the holy antlers of the land, laws of the land that hurt their own people. Why people are so inclined to follow unjust laws even when the risk of getting caught like in that situation is pretty much non-existent? I mean, holocaust was perfectly legal, slavery was legal, so was serfdom, rape was legal. All the advancements in human freedom are so recent, so fragile… They can disappear like leaves in autumn’s wind. And so they do. Without as much as a whimper.
I went across a ditch.. well I jumped.. but it was really tall and wide, so I fell into the grass and autumn leaves right behind the other side of it. Fell, like the dignity of this humble nation. I shaked the nearby bare branched apple tree for some apples, until one finally fell. Picked it up. It wasn’t sour. It was mildly sweet and soft, battered by onsetting winter weather. Wading through the flowing grass and leaves I came across another apple tree, and eventually a road… A huge pile of slaughtered bushes and trees stacked neatly to the side of it. Their memories – erased. Their lives – forgotten. All they are is a piece of wood. They will burn and nobody will hear their screams.
So I went. Further. I walked past a fisherman standing near a lake. Maybe he’s just spending his time in solitude, I didn’t dwell for long. He never looked at me as I walked behind him. Maybe middle aged, maybe elderly man in blondish and graying hair. With a fishing rod. So, I went across the road and followed it’s turn until I came across a graveled bridge nearby. I’ve seen a decayed stump, previous of which (near the ditch) I put my mask in, for I no longer believed in it anyway. It’s worthless. The stump was covered in mushrooms sprouting from it. Dozens of sizable brown mushrooms. Nature’s testament that it perseveres even after death. I’ve seen a car approaching from across the pond. I thought.. surely this can’t be the barber. Even though the car seemed pretty old, it was heading into a large and fancy house built not too long ago. Probably very well-off people live there, they just don’t value new cars. It’s a depreciating asset.
I walked across a yard and open gate past the bridge into a field.. Some sweetbrier I think it’s called in English? Got in my way.. I thought for a moment of eating it after picking up a tiny branch of it, but it away. Went next to an ice rink, not yet operating, then across the road, then into yard of an apartment block. An elderly woman was raking fallen leaves and putting them in a trash bag. Next to her, another lady passed by, I think middle-aged one. I walked further to the left, hoping to get around the apartment block… I came across a mound of grassy earth. Probably an earthen cellar of someone’s near a transformer station. Gate nearby the mound was closed. Closed like door to a brighter tomorrow. Closed like the opportunities that we have. I turned around. I’ve seen the elderly woman in a scarf putting the raked leaves from the ground into the bag. I wanted to offer help, but I hesitated.. eventually walking past. Then I came across an apple tree of many apples still hanging and many rotting and smashed on the ground, likely by schoolchildren as a school is nearby. Pupils usually took that road to the school as did I in my younger years. Right across the road there’s a small store where they used to go to as well. What will happen of it now? Will they force them to line one by one because it’s so small? The recess is only 20 minutes or so. Beyond impossibility. Utter madness. I returned home. Sad. Seen some of the GIFs kitty sent me… But it’s all those I’ve already seen many times. I think she just missed me and didn’t bother to put too much effort in. But eh, I appreciate that nonetheless. She’s a spark of hope in this gloomy world. Alright it’s past 3PM.