I still remember how it felt when you placed your hand in mine, in the ballroom under the shinning golden lights of the expensive chandelier. I still remember the feeling of the callouses on your palms and how they sent a jolt through my body. In a room filled with many but it felt like just the two of us, you and me.
I was wondering how it would seem like if I'd just go down on one knee in my dress and ask you to marry me. I was wondering what it'll be like to spend the rest of my days together with you. At your side, with you, by you and for you. Come Daniel, please twirl me once more. Let me spin in your arms.
Why did you walk away? Why did you suddenly let go of my hand like I was the worst dancer you ever encountered? I stared at your back as you walked away, and dissapeared in the crowd. I waited to for you to come back, for seconds, minutes, hours, you weren't here. You never came back. You never looked back at me as you walked away.
Maybe this was how it was meant to be. Maybe you weren't mine after all. Maybe I am just a loser. I do not deserve your love. Why? I was a stupid girl. How foolish of me to think someone like you, beautiful and glorious in ways beyond compare, would want to have me by his side. I'd be nothing greater than a slave, a servant to call to do your binding. Maybe I'd be turn to something worse. A whore perhaps, to do your biddings and then be disposed of, like the filth I am.
I should go now. I should walk out of the room and never look back, never search for you. But I have a body that listens to my heart more than the logical part of my being. I hated it. I hated this. I hated everything. Come back to me! I might choose my words rightly and try to convince myself that I feel nothing towards you. That you were just a passerby and you'd be gone soon, forgotten like I never knew you. I might write it down on the ground with a random stick that I did not fancy you in anyway but deep down, that would be lying to myself.
This was stupid. I should've never smiled back at you that day at the shelter. I should've never told you my name when you came close to me. I should've never laughed with you when I saw that stupid dimple on your cheek.
You are cruel Daniel.
Thanks for reading:)