"There's no time for that!"
He was drunk. He was talking to his dog. The dog looked mournfully at his master in the driver's seat, as if to say "not this shit again."
But it was this shit again. The driver pulled over, sirens and flashing lights behind him, and came to a too-rapid stop, pushing the dog off its front seat and into the foot well under the glove compartment.
"Commmme on old b-boy" the man slurred. "it's ssshow time." He heaved himself over to the passenger seat, grabbed his dog's collar, and hoisted the dog onto the driver's side seat.
There was a rap on the driver's side window. The man leaned over his dog and opened the door a crack.
"Ish der a problem officer?"
License and registration please.
"I don't have a lishense, but my b-buddy here wash driving, so why don't you ashk him? "
This is my entry to 
My story has some history. I read an article in the paper yesterday headlined COLORADO MAN TRIES TO TRADE PLACES WITH DOG TO AVOID DUI ARREST.
