Shrimp and Bear
Bear came out of the forest to rest on the beach.
From morning until evening he splashed in the waves,
He built complex sandcastles and drank cocktails,
And closer to sunset, he caught Shrimp on the shore.
"I'll eat you, - said Bear. - It's time for me to have dinner."
"Don't hurry! - said Shrimp. - Though I am quite edible,
But eating me is a very mediocre idea on your part.
I can be of much more use to you while I'm alive!"
Free image from Pixabay
"Hmm... What use are you to me?" - said Bear.
"We can dive together. I know such places under water,
Which you will never find without my help.
No travel agency will send you there,
But I'll take you there for free! It's profitable, isn't it?"
"Hmm, maybe... But I can't dive," - Bear admitted.
"There are other options, - Shrimp did not give up. -
We can play a game of chess. If you win,
I'll pay you fifteen shells, and if you lose,
You will set me free. Do you like such offer?"
"Nice idea, but I can't play chess, that's the problem.
I'd rather eat you. Night is coming, I'm quite hungry."
"Wait! Have you already eaten shrimp, or am I your first?
The fact is that some creatures are allergic to seafood.
They are mostly humans, but bears also suffer from this,
About one in a million. Of course, the probability is low,
But what if it turns out to be you?"
"One chance in a million? - Bear muttered incredulously. -
No, it's not with my luck. I never won the lottery,
Never found bag of money, never went on date with twins.
I've never been lucky, probability always plays against me."
With these words, Bear put Shrimp in his mouth.
Two seconds have passed, during which
Nothing happened, and then it started.
Bear was covered with red spots and began to choke.
He waved paws as if to drive away flies, but it did not help.
It is understandable, there were no flies nearby,
But an old woman appeared in black cloak with hood.
"In theory you should have lived to old age, - said Death. -
Because you don't really have any allergies.
But I'm so sorry for unfortunate Shrimp,
That I decided to speed up some processes.
It would be better if you agreed to go on excursion,
That Shrimp so insistently offered you.
Yes, I'm hinting at those reserved places,
Where no travel agency will send you,
But now Shrimp will take you there for free.
What a subtle irony, my god, what a stylish ending!
Definitely, this day was not in vain."
The original text was written by me in Russian. I haven't studied English systematically so the translation may not be ideal. The main work was done by Google Translate, I just corrected obvious absurdities, where I noticed them and where I did not confuse them with brilliant insights.