I was just an ordinary white man who lived in a white country. It was cold. You wouldn't believe how cold it was. I would wear thermal wear for most of the year, even over the cold summer months.

I didn't mind this. It was just life. I could always move to a warmer climate.
But then one day something happened....
Some child called Greta promised me that the weather was going to get nice and warm.

She talked a lot of nonsense but I wanted to believe. A warmer planet would be so sweet. I hated living at the tail end of an ice age.
I knew she was talking shite, a GloboHomo shill spouting shite from every pore and orifice, but I was still hopeful. Perhaps warm weather could be mine....

But the years came and went, Cancers like New York didn't end up underwater as promised, and all the climate shills bought up coastal property on the cheap.
I realized that I was being led by my heart. I wanted to believe in a warmer climate. It would be so comfy.

I was resigned to resign myself to this world, but before I knew it war was looming on the horizon. The Greta army had gone too far.

I was going to get one day of good weather this year. ONE DAY!!!!
I was freezing the other day, despite the promise of almost 20C weather.

I couldn't believe that the Greta army was going full on psychological warfare against the population. Nice weather was now as bad as the cold (which shut the world down because it was supposedly so bad).
I had had enough!
"MEGACHUDS!" I shouted across the valleys.
Megachuds from every part of the United Kingdom came to arms. We marched to the foreign non-English city of London. It was time to remove the foreigners from power. London was a shithole because shithole people from shithole countries were imported on mass against the wishes of the natives.
"Get out of my country!" we shouted.
The shithole people supported the establishment, as the establishment allowed them to come here and gave them jobs they were not qualified for, excluding the native population from opportunities. Throughout history tyrants had always brought in the foreigners. Aristotle described the tyrants as coming to power by force, with a bodyguard of foreigners to protect them, and ruling over unwilling subjects.
The foreigners didn't give a damn about the country they were coming into, which made them perfect to fall in line with wealth extracting GloboHomo.
We began to beat the foreigners (the bodyguards of the tyrants) out of London. The power of the mass importation of foreigners weakened us by breaking up and replacing communities, but when the scattered hordes of Megachuds got together, we easily overcame these not welcomed guests.

"No! You can't do this! You have to let the world into your country because of the climate!" the troll known as Greta exclaimed.
She was with an army of soywojack climate freaks with anal sex flags with signs like "rapefugees welcome".
They were all slupring soy, and looking ill due to thier soy diet and all the boosting they were doing.
"Charge!" I shouted.
The megachuds clashed with the soywojacks. There was more of them, but the megachuds were stronger and smashed through the soywojacks like they were women. The Soywojacks used to be people, but they were now NPCs and foot soldiers of GloboHomo.

"You promised me a nicer climate!" I shouted as Greta and I charged each other.
I rode a gas guzzling motorbike, and held out my lance. Greta rode a horse, her lance covered in VAIDS. As we met my lance struck her true. She went flying off her horse and through a window into a McBurgers.
When she came out everyone could still see the McBurgers in her mouth.
Her SoyWojack army quickly dissipated. Their vegan Queen besmirched.
"You're finished Greta! Now everyone knows you eat McBurgers!"

I went home, wondering whether I had really won or not. All I knew for certain is that climate change was a disappointing lie.

The End

@RiskDebonair
Irish Writer, Poet & Satirist