You know that feeling in school when everyone is sitting in groups, laughing about something and you are not a part of it? You are there, not exactly alone, but not really with anyone either.
Story Time
A few months back, I was at school, attending second grade lectures, because of my research requirements. So, I needed to observe and interview a few students, but they all ran for the recess break, except this one student. At first, I thought he might leave as well. But after five minutes of awkward silence, I went to him and asked why he wasn’t going for it. And he replied, “he does not have friends, the one he had left the school”. It was not the thing I was expecting, so I asked him if he would like to be my friend? He said, “No!” Hehehehe, not the answer I was expecting. But, I guess, kids are kids. Then I asked him politely if he could be of help to me with my interview. Another straightforward “No!” Then I just sat down for a while waiting for other students to come, with complete silence in the room. However, fast forwarding to the conclusion: now we both are good friends, and I am his tutor. Now, we get along well, but he still does not have any good buddies in school. And this thing worries me a bit. But not to worry, we - I, his parents and teachers - are doing our best to help him out.
Resolutions
So even today, what surprises me the most is not his refusal to be friends, but the calmness he had in his “No”. It was like he had just accepted his loneliness. The modern man may say that loneliness is a good thing, but I believe, humans are social animals and without this social element, we are mere robots. No offense to any introvert; this is how life is.
However, moving forward, there is a strange lesson in this experience that loneliness is not always sweet – solitude might be, but we are not talking about it right now. On the outside, someone may look normal. A person who is regularly attending classes, completes homework, smiles (rarely in our case), and still inside, feels disconnected with everything.
Society in this aspect plays a bigger role, because in this world, loudness is usually rewarded. Kids who are energetic, funny and socially active naturally attract attention, while the silent ones are interpreted as virtuous beings. It does not mean they are being less important; rather their silence is overlooked.
Another aspect is how early some of us begin to experience emotional isolation. For adults, it is easy to say that they are being humbled by life: career tensions, future resolves, heartbreaks etc. But what about children? Of course, they, too, can feel excluded, abandoned or emotionally distant. And the biggest problem is: they still must face life. Moreover, these little creatures do not even know how to express their true feelings as well (even most adults cannot). So, they just simply absorb everything.
I think this is also why small interactions matter more than we realize. A simple greeting to start the conversation, an invitation to join the group, or in rare cases, remembering something about them can genuinely change them. Parents and teachers – along with overall society – can play a big role in it. In this fast-paced world, we underestimate the small act of kindness because they seem ordinary. Yet it is not ordinary for someone feeling invisible.
And maybe the world would feel a little less cold if people paid more attention to those who quietly sit alone while everyone else runs toward the noise.
In the end, “Connection is why we are here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives”.
Brene Brown