Living a life full of misunderstanding is hard to move. We would find reasons to make each other understand all the questions asked. I can say I have had this relationship for 15 years but still, my knowledge is not enough. I think no one can master the art of relationships that will lead to happy endings. I always see and heard to others, fighting is common, having a third party is common, being submissive is common, to endure the pain is common. Why it is common?
It is because we have our reasons, we fight to be reasonable and sometimes our reasons can cause misunderstanding because we both partners have a different perception. When we got married, wives tend to be submissive we took care of our children and husband, but sometimes it is abusive to the extent that nothing is left to us. Sometimes enduring the pain to save a relationship and for the sake of our children but is it worth it? Then later on we are still left alone broken.
Having this struggle in a relationship for me to be silent can segregate the pain and anger. Most of the time I thought about my children, the pain in me is nothing compared to the love for my children. I always thought how can I eliminate this pain, is running away a solution? is taking my life a solution? while questioning myself my younger son came and said, "ma I need to popo!" (I'm in the cr) a simple thing that lead to going back to your senses. Having children is the one that we can hold on to, sometimes our hugs to our children are much more meaningful to us than to them.
Now after these two weeks of silence, there comes the second chance. It isn't a second anymore it's the third, the fourth, and maybe the fifth, and remember. Chances are always hard to give and get we need to accept and admit to ourselves that we are wrong, surrender the pride and understand the reasons. I know it's not the end and I know there's more to come, I can't say when will it happen again, there is still much to learn we can be together now and separate tomorrow. Hurting and loving have their separate meaning, they do have boundaries also. Sometimes it's better to set up boundaries between us we can give time to ourselves to think and internalize than create a fight. Renewing our self for each other I think is a great feeling, being quiet for a while helps me think clearly. Sometimes taking hard thinking is much harder when we push ourselves to get answers it's better to stop and distance ourselves to the one who causes it than we can find the answers to our questions.