I made a mistake.
It wasn't intentional but it seems right now that it's out of my control.
With careful thoughts I know I can figure something out but that's the thing. I'm scared. I don't even want to think about it because there is no way someone won't be hurt.
Riping the band aid off is one thought but it's never easy doing that.
I love her but I'm scared that I might make a mistake and loose her both as a friend and as a lover.
I think being a coward in this case is a wise move.
But what if she feels the same way?
What is she doesn't?
It would ruin everything because the way we see each other will forever change.
I finally told her and the look on her face said it all. It was one sided. I felt like the ground should open and swallow me whole. She didn't think it much.
"We can still be friends" she said.
But I think the problem is going to be from me. My bruised ego would be a wedge. I wouldn't be able to look at her or face her again.
I regret my decision but at the same I'm proud of myself.